Full Throttle

NASCAR “driver” Robby Gordon decided the press needed a reason to write about him. So last weeks decision to weigh in on the Danica Patrick story saying she had an advantage because of a weight differential over her male counterparts isn’t surprising. Also not shocking is the general condemnation he received from both the racing community and even parts of the political blogosphere.

Considering Robby needed to make a comparison using weight as his scale of reference I thought a look at both drivers performance Sunday might be interesting. Whether or not you believe 50lbs give or take would make a difference is up to you. Personally I think it’s hogwash. There have been many male drivers small of stature that have both won and lost without any complaints tossed around about weight.

Danica’s Day at Indy:¹

• Started the Indy 500 outside the forth row, the highest of any previous women.
• On lap 56 she became the first woman to lead “The Greatest Spectacle in Racing.”
• Lap 96 Danica committed a rookie error during a pit-stop that dropped her to the sixteenth position.
• By lap 150 of 200 she had moved into tenth position.
• During a yellow flag re-start on lap 156 she seemed to swerve left to avoid a slowing Scott Sharp and damaged her left wing and nose cone. After several stops for repairs she regained the positions lost and again was in tenth place by lap 162
• A yellow on lap 169 placed her crew chief in the position of deciding to stay out and not refuel. She retook the lead and the green flew on lap 173.
• She later lost the lead and was second on a lap 190 restart.
• By lap 193 Patrick had to turn down the boost to conserve fuel. That cost her two positions.
• Two laps from the checker Sebastien Bourdais smacked the wall and the race ended under yellow. Patrick finished fourth, the best ever for a woman and highest for all rookies in the race.

Robby Gordons day at Charlotte:

• Started inside the 13th row in 25th position. (Failed to qualify in four of 12 races to date. Best start, 25th. Best finish, 20th.
• Lap 12 black flagged to inspect for possible fluid leakage. A possible contributing factor in reigning NASCAR Champion Kurt Busch spinning and creating the first of a record 22 yellows flags.
• Lap 102 Robby does the first of his spin-aramas.
• Lap 236 performs another self inflicted spin between turns 3 and 4.
• Lap 308 Gordon catches a break and receives the Lucky Dog when Ricky Rudd’s engine goes up in a cloud of smoke and red hot piston parts.
• Kasey Kahne’s tire blows on lap 362. That resulted in several of the front runners going a lap down. Gordon restarted in 15th place but it was only a tease. He finished in 27th place.

Just because I can, here is a little salt in Gordons wounds. Patricks fourth place finish matched Robby “weight disadvantaged” Gordon’s best ever at Indy. He did it in his fourth try and never came close again in ten total starts.

Does weight make a difference in performance? In truth it’s hard to argue against it. But not so much that a talented driver, in a competitive car, with the desire to win can’t over come.

NEWS FLASH: Robby Gordon Responds. Says don’t take it personal and “I’ve been impressed with Danica from the first time she got in an IRL car earlier this year, and I certainly did not mean to disrespect her or any other driver.” Follow the link it makes for interesting reading.

UPDATE: Cary Estes writing for Scripps Howard News Service gives an interesting angle to this story.

In Gordon’s vision of fairness, any NBA player taller than about 6-foot-6 would have to be penalized. Otherwise, it would be incredibly unfair to all those 5-10 guys. Shaquille O’Neal would be permanently banned from the league.

We’d have to get rid of all those 300-pound linemen in football as well. They couldn’t weigh more than 250, tops. And how is a sub 6-foot cornerback supposed to cover a lanky 6-5 wide receiver? Randy Moss would have to be kicked out of the NFL (which actually wouldn’t be so bad).

Women’s gymnastics would have to change drastically. No more Kerri Strug-like munchkins bouncing around the room. We’ll put up signs that say, “You must be at least this tall to compete in this event.”

Speaking of small, what about jockeys? You don’t see any 200-pound Robby Gordons climbing into the saddle at the Kentucky Derby. You also don’t see anybody complaining about it, either.

We’ll remove all the small, quick players from soccer, and all the big, burly hitters from baseball. Oh, wait, baseball has already done that by testing for steroids.

Most track-and-field athletes are much too skinny. They certainly have an advantage over those of us with the physique of, say, Robby Gordon. So from now on, any runner who weighs less than 150 must carry a sandbag during competition. It’s only fair.

In fact, let’s wipe out all the unjust advantages in sports. That means no more football games between Auburn and The Citadel. No more first-round match-ups in the NCAA basketball tournament between Illinois and Fairleigh Dickinson. No more baseball games for the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.

Yep that about sums up my feelings as well.

This weeks NASCAR Cesspool threatens to become the “Cess-ocean” with an over abundant amount of deserving entrants. First lets look at the “teammates” that did their syncronized swimming routine in the cesspool:

“Team” Ganassi: Casey Mears and Sterling Marlin tangled on lap 216. Mears finished 34^th 12 laps adrift from the leader and Marlin’s night ended then and there for a 39^th place finish.

“Team” Hendricks: While the team dominated the first third of the event - often residing in the 1-5 positions - and J. Johnson is now the only three-pete 600 winner the remainder of its members did their best to be their own worst enemy. Brian Vickers led the most laps, but triggered a crash with 21 laps left that also snagged teammate Gordon. Kyle Busch played pinball wizard most the the night bouncing off many unmovable and some moving objects, but amazingly finished a creditable 7^th.

“Team” DEI: The Dale Earnhardt Jr., Michael Waltrip “spin to lose” strategy¹ will no doubt be this weeks hot story in the press and at DEI headquarters in Mooresville, N.C. Earnhardt, who was already a lap down punted Waltrip out of the race then limped home to a 33^rd place finish and not so incidently dropped from 11^th to 15^th in the Chase for the Cup. Tony Eury Sr., who was Earnhardt

Excuse the snarky title but when a NASCAR race sets a new yellow flag record (22) and averages just over 17 laps between them it’s hard to be too serious. Added to the record 13 yellows unfurled during the Busch race Saturday night I bet the “levigation” issue that produced record speeds, and one racing groove, will be looked upon in a different light.

About the only saving grace was the interest generated at the restart after the race was red flagged with 9 laps remaining. Would Bobby Labonte hold on for his second 600 win or would Jimmy Johnson take his record third straight 600 win. As a result of fresher tires Johnson edged Bobby Labonte by .027 second (one half car length) for the win at an average speed of 114.698 mph.

Honestly, I’ve averaged much faster than 115mph on I-5 South during a “Bonzai Run” between Los Angeles and San Diego. Those of you that live in that corridor are probably familiar that late night and clandestine run and it’s pretty sad I could average a faster speed than a multi-million dollar field of purpose built machines.

I’ll post much more later in the day in my weekly “NASCAR Cesspool.” An effort that may take a while to produce given all the antics that occured yesterday. For now here are the final unofficial results of the “Crash’em and Smash’em 600.” |inline

NUERBURGRING, Germany

Dan Wheldon has become the first Briton to win the Indianapolis 500 since Graham Hill in 1966 in a race that will forever be remembered for the drama created by Danica Patrick.

Although the 89th running of the Indy 500 ended under a caution flag after Sebastien Bourdais smacked the wall on lap 198 of 200 it should not detract from the emotion and drama that played out at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway on a hazy day in Indiana.

Wheldon made the vital pass on rookie sensation Patrick with just seven laps remaining and was just holding off Vitor Meira and Bryan Herta when the final yellow flew.

Patrick, who survived a stall on pit road and a wild spin that wiped her nosecone off and eliminated several leading contenders, finished a history-making fourth after becoming the first women to ever lead the Indy 500. Patrick passed Wheldon on the final restart with ten laps remaining and held on for three laps despite trying to conserve fuel. Slightly earlier the 23 year-old rookie sensation had also led laps 173 to 187 before being passed by Wheldon just as the sixth caution flag of the day waved on lap 187.

Former Indy 500 winner Buddy Lazier finished a superb fifth with Dario Franchitti sixth, Scott Sharp seventh and defending IRL Champion Tony Kanaan eighth.

As soon as I locate quotes from the after race press conference I will post them.

Robbie Gordon, current NASCAR back marker, and former Indy Car driver can’t win jack. Why?

Because he’s as dumb as a box of Vanilla Waffers!

What you say you take offense at such a slight on your favorite driver! Well tough, live with it. In fact those that should be pissed are all females and specificly Danica Patrick. Gordon knows why Patrick sits on the outside of row two for todays Indy 500. He also knows why he will never compete against her.

Robby Gordon says Danica Patrick has an unfair advantage in the Indianapolis 500 — she weighs only 100 pounds.

“I won’t race against her until the IRL does something to take that advantage away,” Gordon said.

“A guy my size is spotting her 105 pounds,” said Gordon, who is not driving in the 500 this season. He is in North Carolina this weekend for NASCAR’s Coca-Cola 600. “That’s the reason she’s so much faster.”

Too dumb X two = too stupid for words.

I suppose you can assume his remark was in jest and taken out of context by The Indy Star paper, but you know what they say about assuming anything.

I guess it hasn’t entered into this mental midgets mind that there is a minimum weight for Indy Cars. A weight that includes the driver. If any of you Robbie fans want to defend this idiot, go ahead, but you’ll be taking to a hand.

UPDATE: I stand corrected. As James points out The IRL does not consider the weight of the driver in its race specifications. The car has to weigh at least 1,525 pounds before the fuel and driver are added.

But Gordon is still stuuuupid! Fat boy Gordon may out weigh Patrick by a 100 pounds of Cheetos but I don’t remember any complaints voiced on this subject when Mario Andretti was still an active driver. Mario couldn’t have weighted 150 soaking wet and carrying a 10 pound pan of lasagna under his arm.

UPDATE !!: Kevin adds this:

For a guy who led NASCAR in crashes last year, including a retaliatory crash which accidentally eliminated two contenders for the Nextel Cup from qualifying, weight seems to be the least of his concerns. Maturity is where Gordon is carrying less of a load than his competition. His rep is so bad some of his sponsors have clauses in their agreements to protect the companies from being embarrassed by Gordon.

And this from El Capitain: “I think Gordon’s just scared of getting beat by a girl.

Hey, Robbo… Want to lose 100 lbs? Try removing your humongous head from your tight arse and let some of that backed up sludge out!”

For all the “Johnny come lately” NASCAR fans whose memory doesn’t preceed the Jeff Gordon era. The Wood Bros long time NASCAR stalwarts, and current owner of the #21 Ford Taurus, have a history of innovation at “The Greatest Spectacle in Racing,” the Indy 500.

This weekend marks the 40th anniversary of the Wood Brothers

Normally you wouldn’t expect youth to prevail at one of [avatar:http://cranialcavity.net/files/cup.jpg]NASCAR’s[/avatar] best race tracks, on one of it’s biggest weekends. Normalcy took the holiday weekend off and Kyle Busch survived record number of cautions to win Carquest 300 at Lowe’s Motor Speedway. The second half of the weekends youth movement finished fifth, 19 year old rookie Reed Sorenson.

With the victory, Busch joined three others who have won consecutive spring races at the track, a week after he became the youngest winner on the truck series. He will start sixth in the Coca-Cola 600 on Sunday night.

“That’s the main thing, that’s the biggest race, that’s the most prestigious race,” Busch said. “It’s going to be a lot of hard work and a lot of dedication, but I’m up to the task.”

Pole-sitter Kasey Kahne led the first 40 laps until he was passed by Biffle, then crashed hard in Turn 1 when a tire went flat on lap 54. He finished 41st.

Several wrecks contributed to the amount of yellows, breaking the event mark set in 1993. Point leader Carl Edwards was one of the victims after he was tapped by Ashton Lewis Jr. and bounced off the wall in Turn 4 on lap 122.

Edwards briefly continued after repairs but finished 23 laps down in 35th.

Unofficial Results:

1. (19) Kyle Busch, Chevrolet, 200, $54,750.
2. (35) Sterling Marlin, Dodge, 200, $43,650.
3. (14) Ryan Newman, Dodge, 200, $30,470.
4. (2) Greg Biffle, Ford, 200, $30,245.
5. (6) Reed Sorenson, Dodge, 200, $45,180.
6. (12) Bobby Labonte, Chevrolet, 200, $22,050.
7. (4) Martin Truex Jr., Chevrolet, 200, $37,445.
8. (20) David Stremme, Dodge, 200, $26,835.
9. (25) Kenny Wallace, Ford, 200, $25,045.
10. (24) Ashton Lewis Jr., Ford, 200, $30,405.
11. (13) Kevin Harvick, Chevrolet, 200, $17,540.
12. (5) Paul Menard, Chevrolet, 200, $24,260.
13. (8) Brian Vickers, Chevrolet, 200, $16,815.
14. (10) Tyler Walker, Dodge, 200, $18,035.
15. (29) Michel Jourdain Jr., Ford, 200, $26,905.
16. (22) Michael Waltrip, Chevrolet, 200, $15,420.
17. (27) Jeff Green, Dodge, 200, $15,220.
18. (7) Johnny Sauter, Dodge, 200, $25,770.
19. (28) Joe Nemechek, Chevrolet, 200, $14,930.
20. (11) Denny Hamlin, Chevrolet, 200, $28,465.
21. (37) Stanton Barrett, Chevrolet, 200, $19,950.
22. (39) Justin Labonte, Chevrolet, 200, $24,230.
23. (36) Jason Keller, Ford, 200, $19,015.
24. (23) Dave Blaney, Chevrolet, 200, $14,625.
25. (30) Mark Green, Chevrolet, 200, $14,690.
26. (18) Stacy Compton, Ford, 200, $18,575.
27. (16) J.J. Yeley, Chevrolet, 200, $18,540.
28. (42) Randy LaJoie, Chevrolet, 200, $18,510.
29. (38) Tim Fedewa, Dodge, 199, $18,450.
30. (26) Jimmie Johnson, Chevrolet, 198, $14,845.
31. (41) David Green, Ford, 194, $18,380.
32. (9) Clint Bowyer, Chevrolet, 192, $23,880.
33. (31) Jon Wood, Ford, 185, accident, $18,325.
34. (17) Brent Sherman, Dodge, 183, accident, $16,290.
35. (3) Carl Edwards, Ford, 177, $14,395.
36. (15) Elliott Sadler, Ford, 142, accident, $14,225.
37. (34) Kertus Davis, Chevrolet, 125, $14,205.
38. (21) Jeremy Mayfield, Dodge, 116, accident, $14,160.
39. (32) Tony Stewart, Chevrolet, 97, accident, $14,140.
40. (43) Steve Grissom, Ford, 81, engine failure, $1,120.
41. (1) Kasey Kahne, Dodge, 52, accident, $21,495.42. (40) Derrike Cope, Ford, 24, engine failure, $16,075.
43. (33) Shane Hmiel, Chevrolet, 16, accident, $16,025.

Race statistics:

Time of Race: 2 hours, 32 minutes, 35 seconds.
Margin of Victory: 0.503 seconds.
Winner’s Average Speed: 117.968 mph.
Caution Flags: 11 for 49 laps.
Lead Changes: 13 among 9 drivers.
Lap Leaders: K.Kahne 1-40; G.Biffle 41-54; B.Vickers 55-63; S.Marlin 64-67; K.Harvick 68-84; R.Newman 85-117; D.Hamlin 118-121; Kyle Busch 122-138; R.Newman 139-143; M.Green 144; K.Harvick 145-151; S.Marlin 152; K.Harvick 153-154; Kyle Busch 155-200.

Point Standings: 1. C.Edwards, 1,855. 2. C.Bowyer, 1,684. 3. R.Sorenson, 1,681. 4. M.Truex Jr., 1,625. 5. A.Lewis Jr., 1,577. 6. K.Wallace, 1,562. 7. G.Biffle, 1,544. 8. D.Stremme, 1,528. 9. D.Hamlin, 1,527. 10. K.Harvick, 1,411.

You know who you are, hate this:

Concord, NC — Jeff Gordon donated $1 million Friday for a children’s hospital at Northeast Medical Center that will be named in his honor.

The estimated $9.4 million hospital will be more than 26,000 square feet and have a 24-bed pediatric unit and five beds in a pediatric intensive care unit. It is expected to open in December 2006.

“Children and families are really the heart and soul of our future,” Gordon said. “We want to be out there ensuring they have the same opportunities as all of those who have good health do.”

Now watch the comments thread fill up with; “Well it’s just a tax dodge, he doesn’t care.”

BUSTED:

AUSTIN (AP)