Full Throttle

It happens almost weekly at every level of NASCAR racing. Someone, and invaribly someone in the top ten, has trouble during a pitstop with one [avatar:http://cranialcavity.net/files/hex-nut.jpg]of these[/avatar]. It never fails, when on pitroad ya gotta watch yer [lug]nuts!

Earlier this year a loose lugnut found its way into the front brake rotor of Matt Kenseth’s #17 Ford in the first Chase for the Championship race, but his crew got him back on the track after a quick pit stop en route to a fifth-place finish. That incident is particularly memorable because Kenseth left the pits with the right front wheel locked up and had to make the 1 1/2 mile lap back to the pits for repairs. The list of teams having similar problems is endless.

Have you ever thought about that lowly nut? Such a small piece that costs you a buck or two - and considering NASCAR-nomics probably 10 to a race team - can cause so much pain and anguish to a 20 million dollar operation.

Chris Anderson has. When not acting as Jimmie Johnson’s jackman on race days he is the assistant parts manager at the Hendrick Motorsports shop during the week. He thinks about them a lot, in fact prior to the season the Hendrick inventory of lugnuts numbers 10,000! That’s a lot of thinking, a lot of nuts and a whole lot of work just to count them. But Anderson does more than the arithmetic, he treats them with loving care.

“We take a lug nut and we basically tap it, clean it and then check it, just this one lug nut,” he said. “I actually spend time on each lug nut, five minutes just to tap it again and clean it. Then you’re going to hand spin it to make sure it doesn’t cross thread.

“You check each nut three times before they get on the car.”

Hendrick’s central warehouse contained more than 10,000 lug nuts in February before the season, Anderson said, and virtually every one has crossed his palm.

There are some bad seeds in there, and Anderson knows he has to find them.

“Most likely it’ll get caught,” he said. “But the chance is there that part can go through the whole system and end up ruining a race.”

And how much does Anderson get paid? I have no idea but whatever it is he’s worth much more. If he gets through his NASCAR career without a case of “lugnut derangment syndrome” he’s a better man than I.

NASCAR, Auto Racing, Sports

Wouldn’t it be more expediant of NASCAR to just hold AMS qualifying for 2^nd through 43^rd postions only. After Ryan Newman won his 6th straight AMS pole position Friday, couldn’t they call the inside of the front row “Newman’s Honorary Chair,” or maybe “Rocketman’s Place?” I mean, why bother at this point, really!

Carl Edwards, who will start outside Newman Sunday, summed up Newman’s performance thusly: “I was just impressed that his first lap was four-tenths (of a second) quicker than anybody else, and his second lap was even quicker,” Edwards said.

If Newman’s past efforts at Atlanta are an indicator for Sunday don’t expect much, in seven previous races he has just one finish better than 10th, a fifth-place run in March 2004. If he is to stay in contention he needs the win if Tony Stewart, who starts 10^th or Jimmie Johnson starting from the 12^th spot both continue their top five finishes. If either of those two win and Newman misses the top ten he’s history in the Chase for the Cup.

Of the others in the Chase Mark Martin will start 4^th, fellow Roushketeer Greg Biffle starts 16^th, Jeremy Mayfield (with a new crew chief) is in 18^th place, Matt Kenseth 23^rd, and finally Rusty Wallace placed 32^nd.

My picks this week tend to tilt towards the “hell if I know” side of the scale. But, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Carl Edwards seems to have “something” when it comes to Atlanta. What it is I haven’t a clue but it’s “something,” so he’s my pick to spoil Newman’s potential “pole to victory lane” scenario. The rest of the top five are: Stewart, Labonte, Earnhardt Jr. and Martin.

NASCAR, Auto Racing, Sports
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Although I didn’t see this coming, it certainly isn’t a surprise. Statement on the Leadership for the No. 19 Dodge Dealers/UAW Dodge Charger:

“As part of this change, Richard “Slugger” Labbe will no longer serve as crew chief for the team. Kenny Francis will continue to lead the team as he has the last three years, and Mike Shiplett, currently the car chief for the team, will share Labbe’s duties with Francis. Slugger Labbe made good contributions to this team this year, and we wish him well as he pursues other opportunities.”

Guess that shows the end product of only one win in 32 tries this year. You also have to wonder if Mayfield is on the hot seat as well. With only 5 Cup wins since entering NASCAR full time in 1994 he may be a target for the axe.

NASCAR, Auto Racing, Sports

Roush Racing says the American Automobile Association has signed an agreement to be the primary sponsor of its #6 Ford in the Nextel Cup Series starting in 2006. Veteran Mark Martin will return to drive the car in 2006, with Todd Kluever taking over driver duties in 2007. At least that’s the rumored driver line-up, it may change with the next shift in wind direction. Or seven figure Ford check cut in the name of Chip Ganassi.

As Roush moves away from having a “male enhancement” product splashed across Martin’s hood, Peak Performance Motorsports moves in another direction - a more “natural” and “traditional” method of male arrousal - for this weekends NASCAR event in Hotlanta.

Peak Performance says intimate apparel maker Vassarette will be a co-primary sponsor of its #66 Ford driven by Kevin Lepage in this weekend’s Bass Pro Shops MBNA 500 NASCAR Nextel Cup race at Atlanta Motor Speedway. Vassarette will be featured on the car’s rear quarter panels and TV panel.

Ya gotta love the term “TV panel,” only in NASCAR do you find it used in reference to sponsorship and corporate logo placement. I do wonder just how much exposure Vassarette will receive from its TV panel ad. With Lapage’s perpetual tail of the field finishing position Vassarette better hope who ever leads the most laps Sunday also has an in-car camera. At least then they would get 3 or 4 shots of the #66’s TV panel as it gets lapped.

NASCAR, NEXTEL Cup, Auto Racing, Sports

When you’re a scam artist, you scam. When you’re a NASCAR owner who gets scammed, first you kick yourself in the ass for being so Stuuuupid. Then you go to the authorities.

A federal grand jury indicted a Plymouth [Mi.] businessman on charges that he defrauded the owner of a NASCAR racing team, several air charter companies and a credit union.

Franklin Ray, who opened Marlin Transport Inc. and MNR Productions, was named in a six-count felony indictment handed up Friday.

He is charged with defrauding at least $285,000 from several charter companies and from Anthony Morgenthau, a Florida businessman who co-owns BAM Racing, which sponsors a Nextel Cup team.

Ray allegedly posed as an agent for NASCAR and several country music performers. He is charged with bank fraud, four counts of wire fraud and interstate transportation of stolen property.

Between July 2002 and December 2002, Ray allegedly agreed to co-sponsor NASCAR races and “to coordinate country and rock concerts to coincide with the weekend of races.”

Ray “entered into agreements with numerous companies to charter flights, helicopter and limousine services for clients purportedly sponsored by (Ray.)” He also received money and free travel from the companies based upon misrepresentations, the indictment said.

I’m in full agreement with the line of thought that says “fool me once shame on you, fool me twice” etc, BUT come on! Just how dumb do you have to be to fall for this guys line of horse hockey? Posing as an agent for NASCAR? The real ones must have “NASCAR” tatooed on their ass for verification purposes, how the hell do you “pose as one?” And how the hell do you fall for a scam perpetrated by someone “posing as one?”

Obviously something is fishy in Plymouth Michigan that is apparently “scam central” for Franklin Ray, but maybe it’s time to have a closer look at BAM Racing. This isn’t the first occurence of strangeness around the BAM garage.

During the same general time frame of Ray’s alleged scam BAM Racing was embroiled in a controversy with then driver Shawna Robinson. Beth Ann Morgenthau, wife of the aformentioned Anthony Morgenthau, signed Robinson to a 24 race deal in Jan. 2002. In fact Beth Ann said that the relationship would be “one of growing and one of future success.” That deal, and any “growing” as a result of it, turned out to be a sham. Through her first 13 scheduled starts she was behind the wheel in only 8 events making the starting field in 7 of those. Then Ron Hornaday and Derrike Cope were handed some of the testing and qualifying duties.

The current Franklin Ray indictment seems to indicate BAM Racing is an innocent victim. But taken with BAM’s cavalier attitude towards the Robinson contract it makes you wonder. Maybe it’s all smoke and no fire. Maybe the environment that existed at BAM in 2002 no longer is present. I’m in no position to speculate beyond that, but if I were BAM’s current driver, Ken Schrader, I’d be thinking about moving on to something else.

Maybe the Schrader moving to the #21 Woods Bros. Team rumor should become reality.

UPDATE: Well lookie here, a short 48 hours after I speculated Schrader should leave BAM Racing and jump inot the #21, Jim Utter is quoting “multiple sources” confirming Schrader is taking over the Woods Brothers ride. I should become a drivers agent.

NASCAR, Auto Racing, Sports

NASCAR’s Robbie Gordon who had a few critical words for IndyCar’s Danica Patrick and woman race drivers in general has company, from across “The Pond.”

Formula One and BAR Honda team driver Jenson Button told FHM Magazine what he thought of ladies such as US driver Danica Patrick wanting to entering F1, Button said: “Danica is very quick.”

Then the Dear Boy placed his head somewhere in [avatar:http://cranialcavity.net/files/butt-head.gif]this vicinity[/avatar]. I’d say he doesn’t understand the concept of quiting when “ahead,” but he’s never been in that position. In 100 F1 starts he has zero wins, so take that into consideration when judging of the validity of the following comments by Jense claiming woman with “big boobs” shouldn’t be on track.

“But in F1 cars I can’t see it happening due to the G-force in fast corners.”

“And one week of the month you wouldn’t want to be on the circuit with them, would you?”

“A girl with big boobs would never be comfortable in the car.” “And the mechanics wouldn’t concentrate. Can you imagine strapping her in?”

So Jense, does that mean I can hire a female driver, who sports an A-Cup bra, and G-forces won’t be a problem? And sorry, but I’m not going near the “unfresh time of the month” remark. I’ll let my female readers tear into Button for that idioacy.

Button, it would seem has a serious problem with females of all types, not just those aspiring to his profession.

Recently Button had a “mutual” breakup with fiance, super model, would-be singer and BBC Fame Academy star Louise Griffiths. Prior to that “pitstop” another ex-girlfriend Kimberley Keay, claimed Jense got her pregnant and kicked her out to fend for herself. Then there is the blond bombshell he was with at Spa for the Belgium Grand Prix last month. And BTW, obviously not a potential F1 pilot, at least using his very narrow criteria.

My, my so many problems for the erstwhile F1 “Ace” and all round playboy. Is it any wonder? May I suggest Jenson give up girls all together. Maybe a deal can be worked out where he could shack up with fellow Brit Elton John. It’s just a suggestion.

UPDATE:Britain’s Sun newspaper, whose “motoring correspondent” is female, had this to say: ”Oh grow up,” said Emma Parker.

”If he spent less time staring at grid girls’ breasts he might win more races.”

Indeed, and less time opening his motor mouth. You will note I have added the photo of Jenson Button, and F1’s traditional “Brolly Dollys”, since the posts original publication. I thought Laura, who expressed her displeasure with Jense’s remarks in the comment section, could print it out and use it for dart practice or something.

F1, Formula One, Jenson Button, Auto Racing