Full Throttle

Anyone but me find it a bit odd, if not downright comical, the Dodge Boys would introduce the Dodge Avenger as a CORN during the 2007 then promptly change back to the Charger for 2008?

That follows the end of the ‘06 season when a couple teams did the Do-ci-do with the Charger and the then discontinued Dodge Intrepid.

Conventional wisdom - something that may be on the endangered species list - suggests Dodge having the miserable year they did in 2007 decided to go back to what worked in ‘06.

But is that the case?

The difference between an Avenger and a Charger in 2008 will be the race car wrap of the various sponsors and different light and grill decals. What does that tell you?

It tells me something else is at work (see the conventional wisdom endangered list). I see the thought to be long dead marketing ploy of Race/Win on Sunday, Sell on Monday at work.

There are two points that lead me to this conclusion:

One, the Avenger was a new model in 2008. Dodge made the decision to run it’s version of the CORN as an Avenger for purely marketing reasons. Doing so brought Dodge more ink space, it was a no brainer. Granted, the ‘07 Avenger CORN sucked hind teat on a boar hog, but that’s not the point. For 16 events Dodge received free publicity for the cost of a few headlight/taillight & grill decals. And that cost, other than Kasey Kahne’s Dodge Boys sponsorship, was borne by others.

Secondly is the latest out of Detroit. Ever hear of Project D?

Dodge has, and it’s the result of marketing surveys and customer response to the design of the Avenger interior. Apparently it resembles something taken from a 1910 Hupmobile and Dodge is doing what it calls an “emergency interior overhaul” of both the Avenger and its Sebring models. That can’t be good.

They’re even calling back some of their former senior managers and directors to head Project D. The very same ones who took the retirement early option via buyouts within the last two years..

This is point two: The Avenger gets rolled into the marketplace to great fanfare and gets installed as Dodge’s Thing in NASCAR for 16 events. The Avenger sucks for those 16 events, and the marketplace has given a large thumbs down to certain aspects of the model.

And… Presto-Changeo!

Re-enter the Charger and scale back the Avenger as a marketing tool in NASCAR for the foreseeable future. At least until the Project D managers become the Avengers and turn a sows ear into a silk purse. (Dr. Strange, Iron Fist, Ms. Marvel… call on line one!)

THE GIFT
Author Unknown

T’WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,
HE LIVED ALL ALONE,
IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF
PLASTER AND STONE.

I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY
WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,
AND TO SEE JUST WHO
IN THIS HOME DID LIVE.

I LOOKED ALL ABOUT,
A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,
NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,
NOT EVEN A TREE.

NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,
JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,
ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES
OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.

WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,
AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,
A SOBER THOUGHT
CAME THROUGH MY MIND.

FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,
IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,
I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,
ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.

THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,
SILENT, ALONE,
CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR
IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.

THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,
THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER,
NOT HOW I PICTURED
A UNITED STATES SOLDIER.

WAS THIS THE HERO OF WHOM I’D JUST READ?
CURLED UP ON A PONCHO, THE FLOOR FOR A BED?
I REALIZED THE FAMILIES
THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,
OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS
WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.

SOON ROUND THE WORLD,
THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,
AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE
A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.

THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM
EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,
BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS,
LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.

I COULDN’T HELP WONDER
HOW MANY LAY ALONE,
ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE
IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.

THE VERY THOUGHT
BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE,
I DROPPED TO MY KNEES
AND STARTED TO CRY.

THE SOLDIER AWAKENED
AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,
“SANTA DON’T CRY,
THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;

I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM,
I DON’T ASK FOR MORE,
MY LIFE IS MY GOD,
MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS.”

THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER
AND SOON DRIFTED TO SLEEP,
I COULDN’T CONTROL IT,
I CONTINUED TO WEEP.

I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS,
SO SILENT AND STILL
AND WE BOTH SHIVERED
FROM THE COLD NIGHT’S CHILL.

I DIDN’T WANT TO LEAVE
ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,
THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR
SO WILLING TO FIGHT.

THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,
WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,
WHISPERED, “CARRY ON SANTA,
IT’S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE.”

ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH, AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.
“MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.”

(ALSO check out Doug Demmons’ “Twas the Month Before Daytona.)

Here are a few items of note that may or not be related to Christmas, but all have been seen as I made my latest tour around the racing blogosphere.

Steven Cole Smith believes Mike Skinner or Mark Martin might have a better chance as beating Santa Claus than he did. ‘Cause in an obvious race between unequals Smith got smoked. Quick… someone give Santa a Daytona 500 ride!

No Fenders Tomaso gives his take on ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas. Merry Kringle features everything from a dancing Helioe to [Schuey] Santa adorned in Scuderia Red doing his famous Xmas Eve chimney slide.

And finally, as you scurry around on Christmas Eve looking for that ONE present for that racing enthusiast in the family FT recommends grabbing a copy of Memories of the Bear: A Biography of Denny Hulme by Eoin Young.

Best known for his exploits in sports cars and Indy Cars his winning the 1967 World’s Championship is nearly lost among F1’s mega-stars Juan Manuel Fangio, Schumacher and Ayrton Senna.

If a Hulme bio doesn’t do it for you, maybe an eBay Auction of the Day will, A One Horse Open Sleigh.

I would hope you’re familiar with the idiom “the pot calling the kettle black.” If not well, quit reading now ’cause none of the following will make a bit of sense to you.

Recently former world champion Sir Jackie Stewart has been critical of the FIA in general and in particular how the organization handled the Ferrari/McLaren/Renault spying affair. In fact Sir Jackie echoed what most fans and members of the press have expressed:

“There must be the removal of any concern over the genuine independence and impartiality in the governance of the sport by the FIA,” Stewart said.

Not content with calling Stewart a “certified half-wit” over previous comments Mad Max let loose this barrage in response to the lack of impartiality charge:

“Dear old Jackie,” Mosley said in an interview this weekend with the Guardian. “He knows nothing about sports governance. Because he never stops talking, he doesn’t know much about anything, actually. He just talks.”

Pahlease! That folks is the finest example of the pot calling the kettle black you’ll ever see.

Has anyone ever seen Max’s mouth closed whether near a microphone or not? His wife probably sleeps with ear plugs to stifle in incessant night-time muttering that must occur. He quite possibly has more quotes on record than The Bard of Avon for Christ sakes.

Dear old Mad Max, STFU.

Many that work in, or are fans of NASCAR, are also fans of at least their alma mater’s sports teams, if not all college sports.

With this years Orange Bowl featuring Virgina Tech and Kansas the owners of the NASCAR facilities in those states to become involved. The presidents of Richmond International Raceway and Kansas Speedway have a friendly wager on the outcome of the Orange Bowl.

A Kansas win brings Jeff Boerger, president of Kansas Speedway, Virginia hams and Virginia peanuts.

If Virginia Tech prevails Doug Fritz, the president of RIR and a Virginia Tech alum will receive Kansas City strip steaks and sunflowers seeds.

I don’t have a dog in this fight - I attended the College of Hard Knocks - but considering the wagers on the table… GO Hokies!

You can’t beat those Kansas City steaks!

At a meeting of the World Motor Sport Council (WMSC) in Monaco, the FIA announced the dramatic new regulations that it hopes will bring down costs in the sport.

Part of the so called cost cutting measures is placing a limitation on the amount of time a team can spend in a wind tunnel. Teams are allowed to the use of no more than one wind tunnel (yes, some spend thrifts have more than one), and they can only be used for 15 runs per eight-hour day - and only five days per week.

My question is, has the WMSC slammed the barn wind tunnel door shut after the cows have fled to pasture? (or to my way of thinking, the meat market in the form of Standing Rib Roasts & Porterhouse Steaks)

F1 Renault’s Bob Bell explains:

Hide the women & children! The news ain’t pretty!

It’s not enough the beloved by some, hated by many more, Jeff Gordon lost the Sprint Cup to teammate Jimmie Johnson.

Even in the off season, and at Christmas time no less, Jeffy suffers the indignity of yet another Runners Up finish.

Will it ever end?

And BTW, what the Sam Hill is an oenophile? (D)