Full Throttle

There’s just something wrong about this.

“For the FIRST time ever, now you can pay tribute to an unforgettable racing legend, “The Intimidator,” with this extraordinary collectible Dale Earnhardt Christmas Village collection!”

Screams the ad copy.

Available exclusively from Hawthorne Village comes these NASCAR themed additions to your tiny town that will eventually include a Pit Stop Diner, Victory Lane Restaurant, Finish Line Station and of course the piece de resistance, a Super Speedway. (What, where’s Whiskey River? Oh, wait, guess that was another place and time - ed)

At first the tiny residents might not be too happy to see that NASCAR has come to this little Tinsel Town, but once that sweet sponsorship money starts rolling in, I’m sure they’d welcome the sight of stock cars tearing down main street.

I’m not so sure the Red Nosed Reindeer would care for it much. NASCAR drivers have a history of taking aim at the doe-eyed creatures.

It all warms my heart just thinking about it, how about you?

On the other hand, this is just so wrong on a few levels but what got me was this bit at the bottom of the ad copy:

“This Collectibles Market First is officially licensed by Dale Earnhardt Inc. and NASCAR®, is available exclusively from Hawthorne Village.” (Boldface mine - ed)

Is that one last cash grab by Mother Teresa, I honestly don’t know, because let’s face it for all practical purposes there is no DEI any longer.

Will all future cash grabs by Mother Teresa include a caveat that reads: “officially licensed by Earnhardt-Ganassi?”

I don’t know that either, but one thing’s sure, Mother Teresa never fails to latch onto anything to keep a dead icon’s name in the public’s view - if there’s a money sack to be had.

Well, anything but keeping the icon’s progeny in the fold and maintaining that icon’s company as something that didn’t have to go begging hat-in-hand in search of a merger partner. And cease to exist.

But hey… it’s all good ’cause you get free stuff with the deal!

A Santa figurine, four checkered track flags and an American flag. A figurine of two die-hard Earnhardt fans (This one and this one maybe? - ed) and select FREE figurines and accessories with subsequent issues - together a $60 value! (Says a screaming QVC announcer!)

And they come with “hand-numbered Certificates of Authenticity.” who can argue with the “worth” of that?!

Go ahead, call me Scrooge, and an ass if you like. But this is just wrong.

P.S. Wonder if I could trademark that “hot cocoa and cookies for Santa” on Christmas Eve thing?

UPDATE: Just when you thought is couldn’t get worse comes this little bit of “holiday cheer.” A six-pack of Earnhadrt Jr, candy canes adored with “with the driver’s colors and logo [AMP Energy] arranged in a traditional candy cane stripe pattern.”

And while there may as well pick-up your AMP Energy Santa Hat and “official” (more cash in Mother Teresa’s pocket) Team Beans Dale Earnhardt, Jr. AMP Energy Pit Crew Ornament.

(Mommy, Please make it STOP! - ed)