Full Throttle

Sam Scribe (Itinerate Full Throttle reporter): “Carl the ‘07 season is just a short of 2 weeks from starting is that cause for you to be so happy?”

Carl Edwards: “Well yes Sam, it is almost here and I look forward to performing more back-flips this year.”

SS: “I don’t sense any joy in your response, there seems to be no great enthusiasm in your tone. Is concern for the the Car of Tomorrow and its effect on the championship race cause for your trepidation?”

CE: “Everyone’s concerned Sam. Well everyone except HWSBO, who’s happy as a clam in marinara as the rest of us are frog marched into his Utopian Land of Equality and Monotony on a WING of fancy. Sam, can ya keep that off the record, please.”

SS: “Sure Carl, I, ummm, we ALL have to be careful don’t we.” (Note to self, run this story without a byline. And on the obit page.)

SS: “Carl let’s get straight to the point, quit circling the war wagon as it were, just what is making you ’so happy?’”

CE: “Dating Sam?”

SS: “Dating?! (Oooo, this is getting juicy!) “Dating, does that mean I’m having a ‘Dale Jr’s girlfriend’ moment Carl? ESPN got a bunch of Google Juice from their ’scoop.’” I was hoping is all!”

CE: “No, no ,no Sam Speed Dating.”

SS: “Speed Dating, what are you talkin’ ’bout, are you caught in a whirlwind romance or what? Do I get the elopement scoop? Exclusive photos? An interview with the happy soon-to-be bride? What the hell’s in it for Meeeee!!!?

CE: “Calm down Sam, pull yer emergency brake please. I’m a Harlequin Man now.”

SS: “Ah, I get it now. You’re sitting in with the Mike Bardash Trio.”

CE: “Geesh Sam get out of your little journalistic bubble, expand your horizons. I’ve joined Harlequin Enterprises Limited. I’m an author now and have penned my first NASCAR related book, Speed Dating.” “I am so excited to be a part of the Harlequin NASCAR book series.

SS: “THAT’S IT! Anyone can write for Harlequin. THAT’S why you’re so happy.”

CE: “Not just anyone Sam. It takes great literary expertise to pen such classics as Groove and On The Edge.”

SS: “Oh, I see, I think. Carl I hate to cut this short but I’m terribly late for an important interview.”

CE: “Brian France?”

SS: “Ummm, er, no?”

CE: “The NEXTEL Cup Champ?”

SS: “No, with the catch-can man for the #78 Chevy. I’m out the door Carl, see ya!”

CE: “Sam, about that Utopian Land of Equality and Monotony crack…..”

SS: “Don’t worry, BOTH our jobs are safe. For now” (Self note addendum: Ensure story has no byline and “leaked” to the just hired cub reporter.)

(NOTE: Jerry, you’re not the only blogger that can secure an “important interview.”)

NASCAR, NEXTEL Cup, Carl Edwards, Sports, Auto Racing, Motorsports, Full Throttle