Full Throttle

For today’s slice of comedy we go south of the Earth’s belt-line to Australia and the Australian V8 Series.

Remember when Dale Jr. got a slap on the wrist and wallet for saying something to the effect; “It don’t mean shit right now… Daddy’s won here 10 times.”

Several other drivers have been docked cash for have loose tongues or waving the wrong digit at an inopportune time, but I have to wonder what NASCAR would do to V8 driver Paul Morris?

He along with Supercheap Auto teamate Russell “The Enforcer” Ingall have been accused of using the Graphite Bumper with impunity on more than one occasion, but the accusitory finger was pointed directly at Morris in a poll of drivers published in motorsport magazine Auto Action.

By majority vote the sports stars rated Morris as Australia’s “dirtiest and most dangerous driver.”

Not one to take things lightly Morris fired back in what can only be described as colorful language by labelling his V8 Supercar rivals “pussies” after the vote.

“If you compare (my driving) to all the other pussies out there, it probably is (dirty) but they all drive around like girl guides and whinge and carry on where I just leave it on the track,” Morris said.

In the [in]famous words of Mater (my kindred spirit), “I tell you what, buddy, it just don’t get better than this.”

Being much more tolarant than NASCAR I doubt if a fine will be handed down, besides, how do you fine Comedy Gold?

The V8’s version of NASCAR Glamor Boys Junior or J. Gordon (take your pick) was chosen in the poll as Ford’s James Courtney as the most over-rated driver. (some would say that fits Junior also).

Ford star Mark Winterbottom was voted the best V8 Supercar driver and the man most likely to win the 2008 title by his rivals while Ford’s Craig Lowndes lost his title of Most Respected Driver to Holden’s Garth Tander.

Most (72 per cent) drivers believe that the traditional Ford versus Holden rivalry was a thing of the past and that Toyota was the manufacturer most likely to enter V8 Supercars should the series administrators relax the eligibility rules. (A future possibility. The Aussie Racing Cars Series will see a Toyota Aurion take to the track later this year.)

A final thought, the obvious question is what the outcome of a secret ballot of NASCAR drivers would show? It’s a pretty safe bet Burton and Martin would head the most respected catagory, but the mind reels with what they would say about Montoya or Robbie Gordon in a secret poll.

Environmentalists, and a 4.3 in frog, may have a profound impact on the Australian V8 Series’ event held annually at Olympic Park in Sydney.

The future of V8 Supercar racing in Sydney is being held ransom by the green and golden bell frog, cementing its place as the nation’s most powerful amphibian.

Environmental groups have raised concerns of the effects of the proposed championship event at Olympic Park on the endangered frog.

The frog previously threatened to derail a major sporting, the 2000 Sydney Olympics tennis venue was moved, and now appears set to umm… hop into the limelight again.

Total Environment Centre urban environment campaigner Leigh Martin said his organisation was concerned that there had been no study on the impact the V8s would have on the frog.

“One of the concerns is there’s been no assessment of the potential impact an event of this sort can have on the green and golden bell frog population,” he said.

It should be noted here Sydney Olympic Park is home to one of New South Wales largest populations (about 300) of Green and Golden Bell Frogs. Conservation of the frog species throughout the sites redevelopment has been a key planning parameter that shaped how the Park looks and is managed. Hell, the Green and Golden Bell Frog has become an unofficial mascot for the park and sandstone sculptures have been placed in the children’s playground in their “honor”.

Mr Martin said the threats included spills and run-offs of oil and other material into the surrounding area, large crowds trampling the surrounding and the vibrations caused by the cars roaring around the 3.4km circuit at up to 270km/h.

Australian Museum naturalist Martin Robinson also raised concerns, including spills and run-off getting into the ponds housing the frogs.

MY COUPLE OF QUID: I may have missed it - maybe someone can update me - but I can’t remember a single occasion in the 10 years of following the V8’s there have been any major spills of oil or other dangerous materials of a size that would create any runoff.

Maybe they should be more worried about the frogs chocking on the dust licked up from the oil-dry used in the paddock to prevent the spills they are so concerned about?

Also of interest, aside from the ecco-weenie environmentalists and probably the frogs themselves, there’s a bit of croaking heard from the other side of Sydney.

The operators of the Eastern Creek Raceway yesterday called on the State Government to ditch the Olympic Park location in favor of the western Sydney facility.

Fat chance of that happening, Eastern Creek is already on the V8 schedule, but it’s the thought that counts I suppose. And a chance for your croak to be heard.

And finally I offer this Hindu proverb: “When an elephant is in trouble, even a frog will kick him”

Technorati Tags: Eastern Creek Raceway, Olympic Park, Sydney, V8 Supercars

(NOTE: For NASCAR fans picture Ford cutting loose the Woods Bros. on the eve of a big race to understand the significance of this move.)

After more than 30 years as a Blue-Oval battler Dick Johnson, often fighting single-handed against a horde of Holdens (GM), has been tossed to the curb by Ford in a dash for cash.

Craig Lowndes will also be caught in the crossfire from a decision by Ford to centralize its cash commitment with just two V8 Supercar teams, Ford Performance Racing (FPR) and Stone Brothers Racing (SBR).

Lowndes’s team Triple Eight was dumped by management at Broadmeadows in a money move that also affects former Bathurst winner Jason Bright’s team.

The decision is likely to save Ford about $3 million, a significant sum as it battles falling sales of its flagship Falcon.

“This is a weird one,” a stunned Johnson said when told of the Ford decision. “I’m 63 but right now I feel more like 190. It’s already been a tough year.”

Roland Dane, the head of Triple Eight, defended the team’s record.

“Ford have clearly got some issues they have to deal with,” Dane said. “I wish all the employees at Ford all the best, because the company has obviously got a few challenges at the moment.”

The Ford cutback comes as the company looks for more bang from its V8 Supercar buck, although it says motorsport is still its single biggest sporting spend.

Full details of Ford’s future will not be revealed for some time, with FPR believed to be working on a three-car program for next year with James Courtney moving from Stone Brothers to take the extra wheel. But FPR and SBR will form a technical liaison.

The impact is likely to be extensive and could even shake the foundations of V8 Supercar racing, because Holden has also scaled back its involvement in recent years and new company chief Mark Reuss has recently said he would be happy to see another carmaker in the contest.

Johnson joked that he might even end up driving a Toyota, although his lifetime commitment to Ford is unlikely to change.

“We’ll see where it goes from here,” he said. “I need a bit of time to think about things. I see no reason to stop being a Ford person.”

Johnson began his racing career in Holdens, but had his first start in a Falcon in 1975. Since then he has raced American Mustangs and British Sierras, and even a production-class Laser, before returning to Falcons in the V8 Supercar era. He also rallies in an Escort.

His ties to the company date from 1980, after he hit a rock while leading at Bathurst and Edsel Ford - then the marketing chief at Ford Australia - offered a dollar-for-dollar deal to match donations from his fans.

“It went from there. I guess the biggest win for me was getting the first championship in 1981,” Johnson said.

“And Bathurst in the Sierra days was pretty good, before the Bathurst wins in the early 1990s.”

Johnson’s team has been hit hard by money troubles in recent years, with the laconic Queenslander losing more than $2 million of his personal fortune in keeping the operation running. He is now facing a bankruptcy proceeding.

Technorati Tags: V8 Supercars, Dick Johnson, Jim Beam Racing, Graig Lowndes, Ford Performance Racing, Stone Brothers Racing

Australian Marcos Ambrose will have his closest thing to a home event in the Carquest Auto Parts 300 at Lowe’s Motor Speedway this weekend.

Ambrose will have 30 fans from his homeland at the 1.5-mile speedway this weekend on the second Marcos Ambrose tour of NASCAR Nation. The tour is a sell-out and a second tour is planned for August this year .

“We’ve also got a bunch of Aussie fans over on our second tour and it’s a long way to come, so I’d like to deliver for them.

“I really enjoy giving the Australian fans a close-up look at NASCAR and showing them what it’s all about. It’s such a great sport and the Australian fans love it even more once they get a first-hand look at it.” (Peter, PeterG, are you there to support the Devil Racer? -ed)

Wonder where Austin Dillon purchased the lucky stars he’s living under? (sub-titled “tech-inspec” is my friend) A few short weeks ago Dillion was handed a win after Payton Sellers was DQ’s at Greenville Pickens.

This week the eighteen-year-old Dillon jumped to a sixth place finish in the East/West Camping World showdown at Iowa after Joe Gibbs Racing development driver Marc Davis was DQ’d from his second place finish. Might I suggest a new sponsorship opportunity for the youngster, Lucky Charms might be a nice fit about now.

It’s true, there was an earthquake in Charlotte, presumably that means Eddie Gossage assumes the mantel of NASCAR’s P.T. Barnum and Head Clown Wrangler. He’ll do just fine in the role, but someone else needs to step up and play foil to Eddie’s show with Humpy gone.

Please! I hope this doesn’t shake out to having to tolerate a back-flipping duck. If it does, I’ll puke!

I’ll also make a break for the porcelain receptacle if I hear/see another whine fest over Kasey Kahne not deserving his win last Saturday. I suspect a good portion of those whimpering were also crying in thier beer asking to have their say and vote someone in. Give it a gosh-darn rest!

I’ve been ridin’ this bandwagon for a couple years, and been consistent about it, it’s about time Derrike Cope quit playing the start and park game and put one of his two Hottie cousins in the drivers seat.

SS Green Light Racing is hungry, or getting hungry, or something. One thing’s sure, if they sign Hungarian driver Gyuri Makai to drive one of there truck they could do worse than hitting up Tony Packos for sponsorship. In the famous words of Homer Simpson: “Mmmmmm …. doughnuts Hungarian hot dogs …”

I don’t get the History Channel which leads to my obvious question, what the hell are “Ice Road Truckers?” I do know a thing or two about R.C. racing having been part of the scene for too long (says the wife) and I get the NASCAR connection but something just doesn’t compute with me. Guess you had to be there.

And finally in NASCAR’s news you can lose, is the lose part. Hey you didn’t expect the People’s Commissar of NASCAR Affairs to make any newsworthy comments did you? If you did you need to visit the aforementioned porcelain receptacle ’cause you’re one sick puppy.

Technorati Tags: Kasey Kahne, NASCAR, Joe Gibbs Racing, Marcos Ambrose, JR Motorsports, Auto racing, Sports, Full Throttle

First the premise:

Every V8 Supercar Championship Series and Fujitsu V8 Supercar Series driver will be required to have a minimum $500,000 (465,000 USD) insurance coverage in order to compete in either category.

The board of V8 Supercars Australia has made the insurance mandatory as of next week’s third round of the Championship – the Hamilton 400 in Hamilton, New Zealand. The insurance will also include drivers who compete in the two endurance races of the year, the L&H 500 at Phillip Island and the Supercheap Auto Bathurst 1000. (NOTE: the remainder of this news item can be read at my other “place of business“)

Now the question: Does NASCAR require its drivers to carry any type of insurance?

I know individual crew members get full benefits and 401(k) plans from their teams but drivers, to my best knowledge are responsible for purchasing their own life insurance. (along with health care and retirement but don’t get me started down that trail of woe - ed)

The assumption here is the drivers are on their own based on NASCAR’s extreme inability to take any responsibility and are quick to play the “drivers are independent contractors” card.

Not that I have any over-riding concern for people that own private jets and helicopters, arrive at races in million-dollar motorhomes and live in multi-million dollar McMansions at Lake Norman or, in at least one case, Manhattan.

Just curious is all, just curious.

Owen Kelly will be leaving Australia this week (Tuesday) on a flight headed to North Carolina and his eventual home in Mooresville, NC.

Following in the footsteps of fellow Tasmanian Marcos Ambrose Kelly has signed a development contract with JR Motorsports with the eventual goal of competing alongside Ambrose in one of NASCAR’s top three series’.

Kelly, 30, raced in the last four rounds of the Australian V8 Supercar Championship last year and has been signed by Ford Performance Racing to co- drive at the Bathurst 1000 and Phillip Island 500 this year. Interestingly, Kelly may butt heads with Boris “Bobsled Hero” Said who has been signed by Paul Morris Motorsports to drive in the same two events.

Kelly’s not a total rookie to NASCAR style of racing, after testing successfully with another team last year. With help from Ambrose, Kelly drove four races for former NASCAR driver Robert Pressley in 2007 a similar category to the Late Model series he will race this year.

Earnhardt Jr. visited Australia in December and attended the final round of the Australian V8 Supercar Championship, in which Kelly was racing.

He later spent several days on the Gold Coast with Kelly’s then team owner Paul Morris, which included testing a V8 Supercar.

“We struck up a friendship on the Gold Coast and I told Junior what I had been doing last year, he invited me over, and it grew from there,” Kelly said. “I’m really excited about racing in America - it’s a huge opportunity,” he said.

Kelly is the son of former Tasmanian speedway legend Chas Kelly, who raced super sedans, sprintcars and Grand National sedans.

NASCAR fans be forewarned, if he makes it up the ladder to NASCAR’s top tier he’s a “Smoke” in the making. He will always tell you “how it is” rather than what he thinks you want to hear.

There’s more than one way to skin a cat.

The Stone Brothers Racing team proves there’s more than one way to utilize the brute horsepower in their Ford Falcon. James Courtney, you ROCK!!

The loudest murmur (sometimes a roar) heard around NASCAR Nation are changes to occur in the current Sprint Cup qualifying rules.

NASCAR made a small change by allowing the go home crowd to qual as a group after the top 35 cars timed in. The idea being the go homers would be on equal footing between themselves in relation to weather and track changes.

I’ve got another plan, and never one shy about stealing um… borrowing from others, I’m taking my cue from Australia’s V8 Supercar Series. Their tin-top series is running in support of (some say the reverse) of this weekends opening F1 World Championship round at Albert Park.

They are running what’s being called ‘Red (GM) versus Blue’ (Ford) Sprint Gas V8 Supercars Manufacturers Challenge.

Billed as a fight between Ford and Holden the quickest driver from each team deciding the starting positions for the rest of their runners all weekend. As it happens things were nicely settled yesterday (Today U.S. time) with Holden and Ford alternating through the top seven runners ahead of the top-10 shootout and race one held on Saturday.

So, with all that in mind, what if…

Something similar were tried at a few special events in NASCAR. All-Star weekend at Charlotte might work and I think we all can agree Atlanta and Fontana needs something to give the fans a swift kick in the rumps to fill the seats.

The obvious difference are the presence of four manufacturers in Sprint Cup vice only 2 competing in the V8’s. Those four could be split by fastest time, for example:

Biffle’s Ford turns in a lap around Mythical Speedway in a time of 32.761 secs. Close behind is the Dodge of Labonte at 32.845 secs. Third quickest is the Toyota of “Jet Fuel” Mikey at 33.003 and bringing up the rear is the U.S. Army Chevy of Aric Almirola with a time of 33.098. (hey, don’t complain BowTie fans, Chevy out numbers the competition by 2-3 to 1 at each event. And besides this is nothing more than a Full Throttle Magical Mystery Tour. It’s my fantastical fantasy leave me alone!)

As a result of the times listed the field would be lined up with Fords filling each front row position (fastest to slowest), then all the Dodges, the Toyotas and finally all the Chevys. (Yeah, it sucks to be you doesn’t it Chevy fans?)

If you hadn’t figured it out by now the object of this nonsense is to forget the driver vs driver dynamic, team vs team or which sponsor has the most colors splashed across a hood, but to pit manufacturer - GM, Ford, Dodge and Toyota - against each other. With all the Poo flung about NASCAR Nation over Toyota’s entry into Cup it might be a winner.

Of course the kicker to this is this race in itself is a special qualifier. How drivers finish at Mythical Speedway is how they line-up for the race to be run later in the day.

Oh, silly me. I forgot to tell ya this was only a no pit stop 20 lap dash for the flag! To be followed by the “insert current sponsor name here ___” 500 at Fontana or the “whatever to hell you wanna call it” 500 at Atlanta.

And NASCAR could throw all caution to the wind (no pun intended, I think) and introduce the event at the “I’ve Fired all My Lawyers on Retainer 500″ at Kentucky Motor Speedway.

So what do you think?]

Anyone ready to partake in Full Throttle’s Magical Mystery Tour - “Presented by the Half-Vast Staff™ of Full Throttle and Boudreaux’s Butt Paste®” - or will you just sit there and let the train of innovation pull out of the station without you?

No, not the T-Shirt Salesman NASCAR’s Jim Beam, the V8 Supercars Jim Beam and its driver Will Davison.

In a turn around from the first race, Ford drivers dominated the second race in the 2008 V8 Supercar Series at Eastern Creek today, finishing in the top three places.

The first Holden across the line was Ford defector Russell Ingall in his Supercheap Auto Racing Commodore VE. Race one winner, Garth Tander could only finish in ninth place.

The race and round win is the first for Dick Johnson’s team since 2001, breaking a seven year drought and highlighting the improvement and determination of a team well and truly on the rise in 2008.

Following on from a brilliant start in Saturday’s opening race, Davison jumped Garth Tander off the line to claim a race lead he never surrendered throughout race two, comfortably driving the number 18 Jim Beam Falcon to victory ahead of Mark Winterbottom.

Starting from pole for race three Davison had to deal with wearing tyres for much of the final race, eventually crossing in sixth position to seal the round win for Jim Beam Racing.

Today’s results catapult Davison to fifth on the 2008 V8 Supercar Championship points table after two rounds.

Steve Johnson finished 19th and 17th respectively and wasn’t able to find the speed he produced in the opening round of the Championship where he finished fourth overall at Clipsal.

Will Davison was estatic after his win: “Amazing effort by the entire team, this is a sweet victory and I am as pleased for everyone at Jim Beam racing as I am for myself.”

“Things are reall looking up for Jim Beam Racing, we are definitely going places this year.”

Meanwhile Steve Johnson reflected on his performance: “It was a bit of a disappointing weekend for me personally; however I’m thrilled for the team and Will.

“Hopefully we can sort things out and I’ll be back up front in New Zealand, I started the year well at Clipsal so there is no reason we can’t continue on in a similar fashion.”

However team owner Dick Johnson was more than happy: “It’s just an amazing feeling to have that buzz around the garage again; it was a well deserved victory for everyone and Will has done a brilliant job this weekend.

“It’s been a while between wins, I’m just extremely proud of the team, we have stuck together and this result is a testament to the hard work of everyone at Jim Beam Racing.”

Cross Posted @ Asian Motor Sports, race report for Eastern Creek’s third round can also be read at Asian Motorsports.

“Ford mutes its stars!” - the headline reads.

WHAT! I thought that was the job of PCNA and NASCAR! You know that whole “make our drivers as plain-jane as, well… Plain Jane.”

What the hell is FoMoCo HQ silencing its drivers for? Don’t they know there are hard working “word-wonks” whose phony-baloney jobs at NASCAR depend on their ability to silence the nattering nabobs in firesuits?

Oh shoot… looks like I jumped the green flag! It isn’t NASCAR, nor the folks at Ford’s Dearborn HQ.

The speech squelcher’s reside in Victoria, Australia at FoMoCo’s HQ.

As a result of the recent dust-up and war of words Ford of Australia are telling their V8 Supercar teams to “Nip it in the bud!”

Specifically the “censor” is Ford’s Motorsport Manager Ray Price, “we’ve spoken to the teams about the incidents and we want clarity. There are always things said in the heat of the moment, Holden drivers as much as Fords drivers will have their say. What we need them to be is be mature and professional about it.”

Reportedly there has been a bit of phone tag between Ford officials and the three antagonists in an effort to cool their jets prior to this weekends Supercar round at Eastern Creek.