Full Throttle

A quick note for those new to the “Throttle,” or just haven’t been paying attention. This category, NASCAR Cesspool, is a weekly feature detailing some of the “lesser lights” of the previous NASCAR weekend. No one is spared ridicule or criticism, drivers, owners, broadcasters and even fellow Bloggers/feature writers as displayed last week. So beware, if you act like a fool you’re likely to end up with an unwanted dip in the fetid feces of the NASCAR Cesspool.

Ok riddle me this one Fox Sports. During the first caution Sunday a discussion occurred about the size of Fontana’s pitboxes. Not an unusual occurrence, it happens nearly every week in some form.

In this case one of the talking heads noted that the boxes were “the biggest of the all ones Fox will cover all year.” Since when is it necessary to separate anything based on the network carrying the event. What the hell is next, Fox starting their own “virtual Chase” to cover events 16 thru 26? These network idiots never cease to amaze me!

During the Saturday Busch event a yellow flag was thrown for debris on the track surface. To be more precise, it was due to a driver “wardrobe malfunction.” The debris was a drivers glove that somehow got unto the tarmac. Can somebody ’splain to me how NASCAR couldn’t figure out who it belonged to? Just how hard can it be? “Lets have a show of hands please!?”

This is shades of the Australian V8 Super Car Series. In the October Bathurst 1000 when then Series points leader, and now Woods Bros NCTS driver Marcos Ambrose, had a “wardrobe malfunction” that created the most unusual drive thru penalty in series history, if not in all of racing history. The penalty may have cost him his third championship in succession.

Hmmm… whose next to take a dip in the NASCAR Cesspool this week? I should think Penske Racing is deserving of the dive. After all the testing, and not so little grousing about the Charger, they competed with the two year old Intrepid body style at Fontana looking to strike it rich. Results: Intrepids Kurt Busch 16^th, Ryan Newman 20^th. Charger: Kasey Kahne 4^th, Casey Mears 7^th. I guess the lesson learned at Homestead last year, where Kasey Kahne and Ryan Newman drove Intrepids, but saw Casey Mears’ Charger be the best of the brand all day (should have won that race) didn’t sink in. If Ganassi and Evernham have figured a way to make the Charger competitive why haven’t the other two teams and more importantly, why isn’t that knowledge being shared?

The NASCAR schedule gets a swim in the fetid feces of the Cesspool this week. Why have a break after Fontana? The next Cup event is “Los Wages”, why the break? Wouldn’t it be more cost effetive to run the two events back-to-back and teams could plan on staying on the Left Coast rather than two cross country trips? I have a suspicion (hey clue me in I didn’t look at the “pre-Mexico” sched) it’s related to the Busch event in “ole Mexico” next week. It gives all the Buschwhackers a chance to make both events.

Speaking of “Buschwhackers,” it’s a sorry state of affairs when the first Busch regular ends the day in 12^th place. It would be easier to locate the “Lost City of Atlantis” than an actual Busch driver within striking distance of the lead Saturday. Proposal: Any Busch event that has more than 5 Cup regulars entered be renamed the “Before the Cup Race Testing Day 300.” Until that occurs NASCAR will get a “lifetime pass” in the weekly Cesspool.

The final entry this week goes to all the whiners and sourpusses complaining bout empty seats and the “boring race” at Fontana. NEWSFLASH! It’s California, they sell out because it’s an “event,” (a place to be “seen,” see the free concert and visit the tofu bar, etc) as soon as the “event” is over, and long before the race even starts they head home. Trust me on this, after spending 13 years in Cali and attending many sporting events you know the pattern by rote memory.

That’s it for this week, feel free to add your own additions in the comment section.