Full Throttle

LEVIGATING! - HUMPY WHEELER, There one well deserving Cesspool entry. Obviously Saturday nights events were a disaster, as were the similar problems in the Busch Series in the Friday night prequel. Tony Stewart opined he may need a “renewal of my life insurance policy” during the event and before he cut down a tire and backed into the wall. Kevin Harvick was even more blunt when asked what NASCAR could do to fix the problem, “Throw the checkered flag and get the hell out of here,” he said. “That’s the best thing they can do.”

In reference to NASCAR mandating tire presures during a competition [avatar:http://cranialcavity.net/files/caution.jpg]yellow[/avatar] Stewart “thought I’d seen all the craziest things I’d think I could ever see in this sport and (this) just proved to me there will be something else down the road that will keep that line open in my head that we’re not done seeing stupid things happen.” Smoke is probably right but at the point NASCAR made the decision it was probably the best way to go. Throwing an early [avatar:http://cranialcavity.net/files/check-flag.bmp]checkered flag[/avatar] would have invited a long sucession of lawsuits far into the future.

In deference to Stewart and for the benefit of my younger fans Satuday’s “Humpy Escapades” are far from the most unusual tire related controversy in history. There was the tire war between Goodyear and Hoosier that prompted Mark Martin to say, “they’re trying to kill us.” Before that was the 1969 opening event at Talladega that was the most controversial in terms of tires and safety but also has a direct connection to a current Chase driver.

Richard Brickhouse won that event and is the uncle of Jeremy Brickhouse, who today is Kurt Busch’s spotter. It was Uncle Richards only NASCAR win and came about because most of the drivers boycotted the event for safety reasons. The head of RCR, Richard Childress also raced that day.

Goodyear and Firestone both were providing tires then but had little time to test at the newest track on the circuit. A pole speed approaching 200mph resulted in the first test of the Professional Drivers Association (PDA) led by Richard Petty and Buddy Baker. The PDA was formed a few weeks prior and they flexed their new found muscle by leading 37 of the 43 Cup drivers in boycotting the event. Tom Higgins has written of the incident and his article contains many quotes and obsevations of the day.

Although Saturday’s debacle authored by Humpy Wheeler is a black eye on the sport, and will be the talk of the press this week, if taken in the context of past events it’s far from the worst and most likely won’t be that last track safety controversy the sport will have to endure. Just the same, Humpy, enjoy [avatar:http://cranialcavity.net/files/dunce.jpg]wearing this[/avatar] and get your swim fins ready for this dip into the NASCAR Cesspool.

And despite the unusually long Cesspool entry above Humpy isn’t the only one deserving of Pool dipping this week. Just what the hell did Robbie Gordon think he was doing?! Well, so you blow an engine. Normal practice is to guide your crippled steed to the inside and hope it coasts it’s way into the pits. Not if your Gordon, in that case you make a sharp left turn in the tri-oval, cut across the grass, enter pitroad in the opposite direction to normal then scatter a large number of fans, officials, and other pit personel attempting to enter the garage area. Can an owner/driver fire himself? Honestly! I would be willing to bet, based on a wild assed guess, Robby leads all comers in dips in the Cesspool this year. We shall see when the end of year Pool scorecard gets tabulated. In the meantime, Robby fire yourself and prepare for another run in the Paris to Dakar rally. I hear VW has a new car for ya. Take it and win in the only racing venue you have shown any consistent talent.

Wasn’t Larry “J.R.” Hagman the star of some pathetic little night time soap based in Texas? Yea. Then why the hell was he in Charlotte playing the part of Lowes Speedway “race director?” What’s the point? Bet 70% of the butts in the seats couldn’t tell who he is without decades old TV reruns. “J.R.” should have “stayed shot” and away from real men playing with real toys.

Next Weeks Cesspool will be a “shorttrack” edition due to the venue being Martinsville. It’s been six months since Jeff Gordon took the spring checker flag there after being down three laps in the event. That event also saw Gordon give Kurt Busch a “little shove” out of the way with 50 or so laps left while fighting for the lead. Busch repaid Gordon about 10 laps from the end as he brushed the side of the #24 as it went by.

More of the same will be in the cards. Count on it.

NASCAR, Auto Racing, Sports