Full Throttle

The weeks NASCAR Cesspool has an unusual beginning. In the past those nominated to partake of the Cesspool’s odoriferous pleasures have been lurking near the bottom of the NASCAR food chain. No team or organization has been spared - from Dale Jr’s. ignominious season, to pitrow speed demons, to willful participants in a weeks crashfest - they have all taken a dip in the pool at one point in a long season.

This week breaks from Cesspool tradition by nominating a winner, and his teammate. Shortly after the winning, the #48 rolled from the winner’s circle into the post race inspection process. Johnson’s along with Hendrick teammate Kyle Busch’s #5 failed inspection due to excessive rear ride height as measured at the right rear corner. After the cars were allowed “to settle” they passed inspection. There was some radio talk during the event about the ride height.

During the race itself, several drivers - Dale Earnhardt Jr., Rusty Wallace and Kyle Busch - made references to the rear-end height of the Nos. 48 and 5 Chevrolets. During one caution period, Earnhardt Jr. had the following conversation with crew chief, Tony Eury Jr.:

“Man, that 5 car (Kyle Busch) is really jacked up in the back,” Earnhardt Jr. said. “Yeah, you could fit a fence post under there,” Eury Jr. replied. “Yeah. Something’s going on there,” Earnhardt Jr. said.

Late in the race under caution, Kyle Busch made the following comment to his crew chief Alan Gustafson over the team radio:

“Remind me about the 48 right-rear after he race,” Busch said. 10-4, will do it,” Gustafson replied.

This is the second time this issue has come up with the Hendrick teams. After Las Vegas where Kyle also finished second, he took a post-race hit, losing 25 points for too high of a quarter-panel height. Kyle also lost the services of crew chief Alan Gustafson for the next two races. After the same event Johnson and crew chief, Chad Knaus, was suspended for two weeks and fined $35,000, for “three infractions stemming from a lower-than-allowed roof.”

I see a pattern here and it’s obviously related to regaining lost downforce due to the shortened rear spoiler. The higher the rear end can be made, either by some type of clown-car shocks (assuming a violation is found) or a lower roof line that allows more air over the spoiler, the “stickier” the rear of the car will be. I suppose to be fair I should add NASCAR, and it’s rules committee, for this dip in the pool. Without the lower spoiler these infractions would go away and teams would expend time on other “creative uses of the rule book.” So there ya go rules committee, you and all those presumingly using clown-car shocks enjoy your dip in the Cesspool of infamy.

The tale of the Tortoise and the Hare enters the Cesspool. Having qualified on the pole at a speed of 158.102 the “Hare” (#12) escapes the pool. The two tortoises don’t. Carl Long qualed at 152.400, Kenny Wallace at the “blazing” speed of 151.725. Both a full 6 mph off the pole speed. No sooner than the green flag drops these two “tortoises” get a warning from NASCAR race control that they better peddle faster or risk a black flag. The phrase comes to mind, “lead, follow, or get the hell out of the way.” Well… they never led and they most definitely were “following” and apparently did get out of the way. Wallace finished 34^th and Long 42^nd after blowing an engine. (Gee, wonder why that is?)

Another noteworthy addition this week is Kurt Busch. Riding high, wide and handsome, Busch was on his way to a dominating win. He had wrapped up bonus points for leading the most laps when a deflated Goodyear let him down both figuratively and literally. During the change of tires Kurt failed to follow the first rule of holes. He dug himself deeper. Jack down, and peddle to the metal and a cloud of smoke signaling the hole was getting deeper. It did, real deep. The pass-thru penalty for speeding on the way out ended his reign as [avatar:http://cranialcavity.net/files/cup.jpg]NEXTEL Cup[/avatar] Champion. Enjoy Kurt. Better luck next time - in the #2.

Next up is Dale Jr. What to hell was that! 10 laps in and the whoa peddle goes to the floor! Tony Eury Jr.:

“Master cylinder, CHECK, brake lines, CHECK, brake rotors, CHECK. OK boy go get’em, nothin’ to see here!”

EXCEPT, seeing yourselves dipped into the fetid feces this week for phantom brake failure.

I love the smell of crumpled and smoking sheetmetal in the morning. And expect to see a lot this week as the chasers, chasing the Chase, invade the home of the “Big One,” Talladega. I can see it now, Talladega Lemmings, all in a row headed for the fences and infield grass.

A quick note for new points leader Johnson: (assuming he is of legal ride height) With only one top five and 2 top tens in your career at Talladega don’t follow the Lemmings!

NASCAR, Sports, Auto Racing , Talladega