Full Throttle

Welcome to another edition of the NASCAR cesspool, a place not many aspire to, but thru naked stupidity or, yes, even an innocent victim of circumstances they take a dip in a fetid cesspool of shame.

First up and the first repeat “winner” are FoxSports makeup technicians. Again Jeff Hammond appeared as if he were a foraging racoon during the pre-race show. Come on Jeff either ditch those white eye producing glasses or kick that makeup tech’s behind. You look shtuuupid!

And for a double dip we have Michael Waltrip, driver of the #15 NAPA Auto Parts Chevrolet, and Jeff Green, driver of the #43 Cheerios/Betty Crocker Dodge. They decided to play short track tit-for-tat on laps 90 and 323 respectivly. Ordinarly I would overlook this type of action on a short track - after all it’s nearly impossible to play the retribution game on the longer speedways - but in this case neither driver has had what you would call a stellar start to the year. One would think an eye at the standings would have come into play. Their little race car whirlpool action sucked them rights into the cesspool.

That’s it for this week, looking forward to Texas. As one of the fastest tracks on the circuit it should provide plenty of opportunity to take the dip in the “Cesspool of Shame.”

I’m betting on a few more penalties handed out as a result of “aero” infractions this week. Get the templates ready boys, you gonna have a busy week.