Full Throttle

Three times a charm as they say and NASCAR’s CORN makes its third appearance this weekend in the Meatball Marinara 500, a/k/a Subway Fresh 500, a/k/a Subway Fresh 312. (312? - don’t ask)

The CORN faces its biggest test as it debuts on a one-mile track, twice the distance of its two previous tests, and at much higher speeds. At this point the car has generally produced what The Suits have wanted, close finishes.

The Bristol and Martinsville events produced winning margins of 0.064 and 0.065, respectively, but when a field of 43 cars nearly fills the entire speedway with bumper-to-bumper traffic close finishes can be expected.

Phoenix may tell a much different tale. On the other hand at least one tale remains the same.

Jeff Gordon won the pole last November and he repeats the fete by blowing away provisional pole sitter Jamie McMurrry with a speed 133.137 mph. Not so incidentally at a speed only 1.3 mph slower than last year.

Odd, I thought Smoke said the CORN drove like “an old Oldsmobile station wagon, green with wood panel trim on the sides.” That’s one fast “station wagon!”

McMurray starts outside Gordon, Denny Hamlin is third, Scott Riggs fourth and Jimmie Johnson, Gordon’s Hendrick Motorsports teammate, rounded out the top five at 132.275 mph.

Filed under “it sucks to be you” is Team Red Bull. If the image isn’t clue enough for ya, both their drivers, Brian Vickers and AJ Allmendinger, failed to make the field. Pointedly, I might add, tongue planted firmly in cheek.

As easy as it might be - both RCR and Hendricks are hotter than hot - I’m not picking either team to reach winners circle Saturday night.

Tony Stewart is home and he’s mad after last weeks shenanigans. He’s come close but hasn’t closed the deal for various reasons. There’s a very good chance he will finish everyone off this week.

Stewart considers Phoenix to be his West Coast home away from home. He has raced at the 1-mile oval in six different types of race cars — USAC Midgets, USAC Silver Crown cars, Indy cars, Supermodifieds, a NASCAR Busch Series car and a Nextel Cup car.

Stewart was asked his thoughts on returning to a place he’s seen so much success:

“When we come out to Phoenix two times a year, it’s like a homecoming each time. It’s a place where I feel comfortable. I know every inch of that race track. I’ve driven six different types of cars there, and between all those cars I’ve run at least five different lines. I feel like I know it better than most of the other folks who’ve just run stock cars there.”

Feel free to place your bets now.

Bet you thought the image that leads this piece refers to Subway. Well, that’s what you get for thinkin’. The image signifies a MeatBall Update.

Ya now how a baseball team sits on a record of 3 and 23 and the manager gets the axe, in April? Same with an 2 for 11 NFL team, the head coach gets a job buffing the astoturf.

Well… guess it’s the same with crew chiefs, you sink below the Mendoza Line and it’s Sayanara. Scott Eggleston is out as crew chief and Buddy Sisco is in as crew chief of the MeatBall’s #55.