Full Throttle

Every family seems to have a weird uncle.

Whether he’s “weird” in the strictest sense of the word or just something out of the ordinary to a particular family the statement is true enough to use the generalization.

At this point in the Max Mosley scandal it seems pretty fair to say Mosley is to the FIA what Uncle Fester was to the Addams Family. Charles Addams once said Fester was “incorrigible and except for the good nature of the family and the ignorance of the police, would ordinarily be under lock and key.”

The same can be said of Max “The Littlest Perv” Mosley as he descended from his palatial Monaco estate to “grace” the F1 paddock and hold behind closed door meetings with various F1 personages this week.

It can also be said his long-time confidant and friend Bernie Ecclestone has seen both the spectacle of his appearance and the absurdity of Mosley’s “letter” issued to FIA membership as something unwarranted and well, “weird uncle-like.”

In Ecclestone’s latest statement he seems to imply Mosley has gone completely bonkers, tipped to the side of being a borderline paranoid schizophrenic and if war is in the cards, so be it, bring it on.

“Poor old Max. I feel sorry for him,” Ecclestone said. “Everybody’s wrong except him, Ecclestone mocked in the Monte Carlo paddock on Thursday. Everybody was involved in the orgy except him. He is just lashing out at anything he can. If he wants me to be the enemy he should be very careful because if he makes me an enemy I could make sure that he never whips anybody again.”

Normally Max is more together instead of making silly, outrageous mistakes. [speaking of the Mosley letter] Somebody from one of the more important clubs rang me to speak about the letter. He thought it was outrageous.”

I think Bernie needs to rewind the tape, it was Madam Switch that had whip in hand, but I digress.

With both sides of this motor sport passion play dug in it would seem the battle-lines are well and truly drawn and as “The Littlest Perv’s” June date with destiny approaches sides are being chosen.

Oddly enough Sir Jackie Stewart, who has his own Mosley axe to grind, is placing a few quid on Mosley weathering the storm and remaining in place at a time of his choosing.

Crossing over no-mans-land to the Mosley encampment one finds old Mosley ski resort buddy Gerhard Berger singing the talking points that quite obviously came via a Mosley memo: “I think it’s an entirely private thing. It’s something that has happened with grown-up people, nothing which is against the law and I have to say I’m very surprised how many angels there are around in formula one,” Berger said.

Give it up Gerhard, that genie left the bottle the second the video hit the web. No less than two EU court systems have ruled such and Mosley’s “privacy” can be viewed in dozens of internet corners and will live in infamy until the time when an extra terrestrial’s EMP cloud wipes all digital data off the face of the earth.

Also coming out in Mosley’s favor is Red Bull boss Christian Horner who agreed with Berger that Mosley has “done many, many good things”.

Whatever Horner, you can cue the Ferrari/FIA conspiracy music with that statement.

There’s a large contingent of fans and F1 insiders that firmly believe FIA stands for “Ferrari International Aid” and it’s a pretty hard nut to crack when considering some of the favoritism shown the marquee in the past. (Read Schumi’s first win in 2005 - ed)

Horner damn sure doesn’t go any way to knock down that myth (assuming it is) by quoting verbatim from Mosley’s playbook.

Monte Carlo’s Friday brought more bad news to the Mosley contingent.

Sources in Japan suggest the influential and respected Japan Automobile Federation will withdraw their mobility and sporting memberships from the FIA if Mosley does not stand down – before the vote on 3 June.

Interesting, if true, but I hardly see Max pulling out before the climax (pun intended) on June 3rd. The guy lives for theater, he either rises like the mythical Phoenix or crashes and burns.

Suffice it to say, the next ten days will be interesting regardless of the outcome.

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