Full Throttle

The NEXTEL guy said the phone line went directly to Brian France’s (A/K/A HWSBO) nightstand phone, but honestly, I thought it was just a way to get the extra 100 bucks out my pocket.

Who’da thunk my ideas of a few days ago would take root and blossom into a workable solution to NASCAR’s “bump-a-holics.”

But, as the saying goes, wonders never cease:

NASCAR is working toward a new bumper configuration that, by the next restrictor-plate race at Talladega in April, would prevent teams from beefing up their bumpers with to allow cars to slam into the ones ahead of them and receive blows from the ones behind them without damaging the cars’ aerodynamics.

“We’re on it back at the research and development center now,” said Robin Pemberton, NASCAR vice president for competition. “Hopefully we can get through Daytona, make some corrections to the cars and get on with it at Talladega.

“Right now, we’re going to take it a day at a time through Sunday. We understand there is going to be some incidental contact out there and we’ll do everything we can to not make the wrong the call.”

Jesus H. Christ in a handbasket! Who the hell hit’em over the head with the nearest cluebat?

It wasn’t me (my NEXTEL check bounced), but someone around the research and development center actually hit on the genesis of the problem - tank-like bumpers and support structure.

I shocked I tell ya! But not enough to still believe NASCAR acted a year too late and as a result had to gin up their “Zone Defense” against critics and station live action bobble-head dolls in Daytona’s four corners this Sunday.

Now if I can get that rubber check covered I have an idea how NASCAR can gracefully back away from the Car of Today.

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