Full Throttle

Question: Why is someone building a tennis court, complete with grandstands, across the street from Lowe’s Motor Speedway?

Answer: So Anna [avatar:http://cranialcavity.net/files/anna1.jpg]Kournikova[/avatar] will have a place to play next weekend when she comes to town to help promote a new development being built on that land.

[avatar:http://cranialcavity.net/files/anna2.jpg]Kournikova[/avatar], a professional tennis player [hey watch those cracks - ed] and model [woo-who that's more like it! - ed], will play an exhibition match at noon on Saturday, May 28 at the “stadium” located at N.C. 29 and Morehead Road, across the street from the NASCAR track.

The CarQuest 300 Busch Series race will be held that night at the speedway. [avatar:http://cranialcavity.net/files/anna3.jpg]Kournikova’s[/avatar] opponents for the match will be a pair of NASCAR drivers - Elliott Sadler and Jamie McMurray.

The exhibition will be part of four days of celebrity sports activities at the site for The Preserve at Greyson, a planned development covering more than 1,200 acres scheduled to include two golf courses, an 18-court tennis center, a sports complex to include an aquatic center and a 15,000-seat arena as well as sites for homes, a hotel/conference center and retail and other commercial development.

In addition to the tennis match featuring [avatar:http://cranialcavity.net/files/anna4.jpg]Kournikova[/avatar] and the NASCAR drivers, “Racefest 2005″ will also feature tennis and golf clinics.

Ok, so here’s the deal. This leads to many questions, some of which I have added below, feel free to add your own in the comment section.

• Who will “bump draft” [avatar:http://cranialcavity.net/files/anna6.jpg]Kournikova[/avatar] first, Sadler or McMurray?
• Which driver will brag he has the “Talladega Big One?”
• Who will be quoted as saying, “Care of come back to the NASCAR “Oval Office” with me?” And the mandatory [avatar:http://cranialcavity.net/files/anna5.jpg]Kournikova[/avatar] followup question: “I practice safe sex, you use a “restrictor plate” don’t you?”
• Which driver will pull a “McEnroe,” charge the referee and claim he didn’t get “aced” by the other driver, “those two are just going for coffee!”
• Considering Sadler’s sponsor is M&M’s will he have the nerve to use the old “would you like some candy little girl” routine?

I’ve gotta million of ‘em folks but won’t spoil your fun by posting all of my thoughts. As a extra special feature for any “Anna fans” out there hover over any instantences of the last name [avatar:http://cranialcavity.net/files/anna7.jpg]Kournikova[/avatar] to view an image of the Russian bombshell. NOTE: If you’re using IE6 as your browser the feature won’t appear. It only works in “modern” up to date browsers. So get the hell off of IE6, it’s a very large dung pile full of security holes.