NASCAR’s Celestial Evening
NASCAR’s annual ritual known as the All Star Challenge had it’s usual array of Star’s both in the Open event and the million dollar to win Challenge. And it was a good thing they were on the track as the rain delayed, then shower interrupted, evening featured enough clouds to obscure any heavenly stars that may have been visible.
Keeping with NASCAR’s theme of borrowing other major sports events, namely All Star events, I have chosen to had out a few awards similar in fashion to the other major American sports. (MVP’s, Homer Champs, Plays of the Game, etc.) Without further adieu here are the awards given to the “lucky contestants” from Saturday night. They are broken down in order of appearance starting with the pre-race show.
PRE-RACE SHOW:
Best Rain Delay Interview: By far it was Jeff Burton’s discussion on the importance of America’s short tracks as the seed farm for the stars of tomorrow. I’m sure Bill Ryan was cheering very loudly from his home in Oxford, Maine. That’s assuming his watched from his owners box as he watched Terry Merrill dominate the field Saturday night. As an aside, that event may have produced a short track historical first.
I Wish I had One Award: Carl Edwards brandishing a B-B-Q’ed lamb chop. Who the hell needs concession stand hot dogs when you can get yer lips around that.
Sin by Omission Award: A Pitroad BobbleHead opined that a lot of unknowns made predicting the evenings outcome a difficult proposition. Among the reasons given were the repaved surface, rain washing the surface clean and the hard compound Goodyear’s in use. In reference to the tires he said the NASCAR Open would be the “first race” on the tires. NOT! Guess he was too busy in the media center Friday to witness the Truck Series on the very same track, with the very same hard compound Goodyears.
Best Family Shot: J.J. Yeley holding daughter Faith with a green #18 pacifier stuck in her mouth. Cute as hell and a damn sight better than the normal kids image of strained green peas dribbling out of the mouth.
NASCAR NEXTEL CUP OPEN
When’s Check-out Time award: The question was asked of pole sitter Scott Riggs at the end of lap one of 30. Response: Now, as he “checked out” and was never challenged taking the checkered flag ahead of Jeff Green.
Unrequited Anticipation Award: As the event dwindled down to a few laps the Booth BobbleHeads were beside themselves (with accompanying yellow stained pants) in anticipation of a redux of ‘05 when Brian Vickers spun Jeff Green to win the Open. It never happened, and an audible gasp could be heard from the booth and Hollywood Hotel sounding like a cheap circus balloon busting.
INTERMISSION
Award for Best “Inside the Park Homer:” (i.e. hitting all the bases) Michael Waltrip ended his interview with, “Go NAPA Dodge; Ford; Chevy; Toyota.”
DRIVER INTROS ALL STAR CHALLENGE
Award for the best acrobat imitation: Ryan Newman’s crew member who dove off the stage into the waiting crowd below.
Award for the Stupidest Move: Ryan Newman’s crew member who dove off the stage into the waiting crowd below, that wasn’t waiting!
What the Hell Was THAT Award: Given to the throng in attendance for the tepid response to the introduction of the retiring Mark Martin.
The Priceless Award: The facial expressions on the child that Kyle Petty carried onto the stage.
NEXTEL CUP ALL STAR CHALLENGE
Save of the Day: Greg Biffle, lap 1. Bif got so far sideways if the following Jeff Gordon had been a paparazzi he had the perfect opportunity for an excellent profile shot of Biffle. Yet somehow Biffle saved it.
Best Teammate Tussle: Lap 12, Mark Martin tapped fellow Roush Mongol Hoard
Those lamb chops looked incredible. I wonder if Jeff actually ate one, or was just posing for the camera? That’s a tough call. Down one of those fine looking pieces of barbecued perfection, or wait until after the race. Well, at least there was plenty of time until big show started.
My question, and one I’m writing a seperate piece on, is what’s happened to all the special paint scheme’s of years past? That was one of the cool things about the Winston, and always has been. Seeing who cooked up what. Jeff’s paint scheme doesn’t count, he’s ran it (or a very similar one) before. For the record, I still think it looks funny. Even though his paint scheme last year definitely made me do a T-Rex growl. Petty’s doesn’t count, that was a PR stunt (love Victory Juntion, and Kyle, but his sponsor’s kinda P’d me off on that deal).
I thought of the same thing when I viewed the cars lined up along pit road. Other than the two you noted there were no special schemes on any of the cars.