Full Throttle

It’s been a while since my last Cesspool entry, LMS and the 600 to be exact, but I think most would agree there are several worthy nominees from Sunday’s Cup event. Plus a couple “bonus” entries.

First on my list falls under the heading of Pin Ball Wizards, and there were a hell of lot of them and they all thought they were pumping quarters in the local arcade. Ryan Newman, Robbie Gordon, Michael Waltrip (under caution!), Ken Schrader, Brian Vickers, and Tony Raines all provided more spins than a carnival Tea Cup Ride and more crumpled sheet metal than the World Figure 8 Championship.

Can I get an Amen?

Next on the Cesspool hit parade is Bill Elliot. Just what is he doing and by extension, Waltrip? He qualed Waltrip’s “Pseudo-Toyota” in the back of the pack and stayed there all day. Not to put too fine a point on it but Elliott Sadler ran out of gas and finished 7 places ahead of Awesome Bill. My question is, just what is under that Chevy’s skin? Is it something cobbled together by the Toyota folks, or pulled off the Waltrip shelf. If the former, the ‘07 season may see more than the #00’s sponsor’s burgers getting “char-broiled.” And there won’t be any “Super Sizeing” of the points standings either.

NASCAR experienced The Perfect Storm Sunday. The green-white-checker rule is supposed to give the fans the finish they paid an arm, leg, and Grand Mamma’s heirloom Bone China for. Instead they got a finish authored by Sebastian Junger and directed by a dead Tyrannosaurus Rex. With an extra 8 laps to be run, (thanks Mikey) cars were dropping like flies as they ran out of dead dinosaur fuel. But at least this week they had an excuse (take a bow Mikey) last week they didn’t, as laps ran down so did a couple of fuel gauges. Not a good thing and worthy of this dip in the fetid feces.

A quick word about the Busch event. It ran relatively uneventful, besides having the 18^th Cup driver win in 20 events I mean. Aaron Fike was caught up in what will henceforth be known as a “Michael Jackson” incident. It rates its own moniker because it’s the second time a loose driving glove found its way onto the track creating a caution flag. To Fike’s credit he has a plausable excuse, (“I can’t stick my hand out the window and I was just trying to get some air.) but as the first that has plead guilty to the offense (the California culprit is unknown) his sentence is a swim in the Cesspool. Enjoy Aaron!

Dennis Setzer gets a nod for a bizare pit road incident in Saturday’s NCTS event in Memphis. Setzer was denied a Memphis victory when he ran over a pit sign in an adjacent pit stall. The sign became wedged under the FlexFuel 85 Chevy and led to the truck being dropped off the jack before the left rear tire could be attached completely. Not a good thing, and I suspect that pit sign said “No swimming in the Cesspool” (or am I dreaming?), which he obviously couldn’t read as it lay underneath his Silverado.

That’s it for this Cesspool. I’ve got a couple more entries but they are a bit off topic and off track so to speak and rate a post of their own. You’ll thank me for it later.

Next week is Pocono. Oh boy, if form holds true it may come down to who has enough long dead dinos in the tank again. Won’t that be fun?

NHIS, New Hampshire International Speedway, NEXTEL Cup, NASCAR, NASCAR Craftsman Truck Series, Busch Series, NCTS, Auto Racing, Motorsports, Full Throttle