Staten Island: Hilarity Writes Itself
People are funny, tiny people like kids are even funnier. Buster Keaton was funny.
But for shear Comedic Gold nothing tops a politician. Add in the Big Apple, its Mayor, a local politician from the Bald-Headed Step Child and a very large tract of vacant land and hilarity ensues.
At issue is the 675-acre site ISC now owns on Staten Island. Because they were summarily told to go screw themselves the acreage reportedly is about to hit the market.<div style=”clear:both;”
Up steps Mayor Michael Bloomberg: “The city is not going to be in a position to buy the land,” the mayor said upon questioning at a press conference.
Despite the city never promising to purchase the land Bloomberg tweaked the ears of a local politician.
Maybe tweaked ears isn’t the right description, “incensed” is how Staten Island Councilman Michael McMahon felt, who accused the administration of neglecting the site simply out of geographical discrimination.
“If that largest piece of vacant land was in any other borough, the city would be all over it,” McMahon said.
Baaahahahahahah…. oh excuse me, I forgot to set-up the joke.
The land is zoned for industrial operations and, due to its previous use as an oil tank farm, could not sustain homes, a hospital or a school.
“Excuse me…, excuse me Councilman?”
“Councilman McMahon, Bob BamBoozler from the Full Throttle Times Herald Inquiring Examiner, city owned land is normally used to construct public housing, hospitals, schools and the occasional road or two.” Why would NYC want 675 acres they can’t do dog squat with regardless where it was located?”
“Councilman… Councilman McMahon?! “Damn my first assignment as a cub reporter and the interviewee does a Houdini on me, what will I tell Perry White?!!!”
