Full Throttle

Listen up Bucko, tired of all the hype surrounding NASCAR?

Tired of a winning driver’s interview going something like this: “I’d like to thank Guido’s Leg Breaking Service without whom I’d never make it out of the track alive and Luciano Loansharks and the Ernest Gallo Winery who provides the “fuel” for this entire winning race team.”

Are you tired of the incessant race coverage that interrupts the TV commercials? (actually no, that’s a myth that refuses to die a natural death, there’s less now than in 2000 buts that’s a story for another rant.)

Well, I have news for you, be careful of what you wish for.

The day may soon becoming when you look up from your high priced seat at your favorite NASCAR venue and see an advertisement in the clouds.

Or, to be precise, you would see a Flogo.

A Flogo, produced in the heart of NASCAR Nation by a company located in Alabama is made with a machine that produces “tiny bubbles filled with air and a little helium.”

From that says owner and inventor of the process 4 foot “clouds” are formed in the shape of company logos and can be floated over a venue.

The Walt Disney Co. will use one of the machines next month to send clouds shaped like Mickey Mouse heads into the air at Walt Disney World in Orlando, Fla., former magician and developer Francisco Guerra said.

The mind reels with the possibilities.

And frankly if any of the NASCAR Suits get wind of this concept we all may be ready for a stay in a “hotel” with latex lined walls. If you get my drift.

Technorati Tags: NASCAR, Flogos, Auto Racing, Motorsports, Full Throttle

Race drivers love to complain, and that’s especially true when things aren’t going their way or their ream isn’t living up to expectations.

It’s been that way since Thanksgiving Day, November 27, 1895 and I see no chance it will abate in the near future.

It was only natural when seeing the latest Jeff Gordon quotes I filed them away along with a century of history preceding them.

But then I read them again: ” … NASCAR knows it’s happening,” Gordon said on Friday at Darlington Raceway. “They are the ones that see the cars come through inspection. They see it. When cars can’t even get on the scales because they’re running sideways, it’s something they need to address.”

Gordon’s referring to the cars doing the “crab-walk” down the straightaway. After a second reading the light bulb of cognition flicked on in my skull. “Yeah that’s it, that’s what I saw during Friday nights NNS event.”

At the time I thought nothing of it. After all the Cup series has just cast aside a car that can be best described as a Twisted Sister as compared to their street models. Prior to the CoT coming into being the old “template cars” were so bent out of shape they resembled something made during an Old-Fashioned Taffy Pull Party.

But there they were, the new car’s right rear hiked up like an incontinent dog in a fire hydrant factory.

I only wish I had a tape on the NNS event to go back and review it, because despite Gordon’s contention, more “legs were hiked” than just the pack of Roush-Fenway mongrels cars.

I seem to remember a much larger litter and NASCAR Series director John Darby not only admits to the phenomena but insists Hendrick Motorsports was the first to experiment with the new car as a twisted Sister and that Edwards’ #99 team was one of the last.

That leads me to believe I was correct in not calling out Jeffy as a whiner, but feel fully justified in saying he and any other members of Hendrick Motorsports thanking or speaking the same are Pots calling the Kettle black.

None of which bothers me in the slightest. If Roush, or any other team, finds a way to make the car work and NASCAR gives it a pass, more power to them both.

One thing I will do is pay closer attention to which teams are doing the crab walk down the Lady in Black’s straights this evening.

Technorati Tags: Darlington Raceway, Jeff Gordon, NASCAR, Auto Racing, Sprint Cup Series, Roush Fenway Racing, Full Throttle, F1 Rage!, Carl Edwards

Congratulations to ARCA RE/MAX Series car owner and former driver Andy Hillenburg for bringing Rockingham back to life.

Same goes for Joey Logano for winning in his first ever ARCA event at the wheel of a Venturini Motorsports prepared, Joe Gibbs sponsored Chevy. The soon-to-be 18 year old Gibbs phenom decimated the field and lapped all but 4 other cars on the way to the win.

There’s one remaining question I have after the checkered flag fell Sunday. If a race is held at a resurrected Rockingham Speedway will anyone see it?

The apparent answer is not only no, but a resounding NO when taking into account the number of “fans” dressed as vacant seats Sunday.

Was this the same track that was dropped from the NASCAR circuit in favor of bigger tracks with bigger grandstands in 2004? I think so.

Was this the same track that a multitude of fans of the track and it’s unique brand of racing was very much lamented at it’s passing? I think so.

Was this the very same track upon its demise in 2004 spawned a loud vociferous group of fans that campaigned for someone, anyone to bring it back to life? I think so.

So where the hell were they?

Where were these so-called “fans” when the green flag flew, the stands to be charitable, were one third full. That’s 20k at a place that holds 60k. The remainder of the math problem is left as an exercise for the reader.

No excuses. I don’t want to hear about this being an ARCA event vice NASCAR. I don’t want to hear about gas prices, hotel bills or any other such excuses that have been used since NASCAR opened it’s season at Daytona.

This was THE ROCK after all, you asked for it and got it, so where were you?

To be clear, I never expected a 60k sellout. But the least one could have hoped for, and Andy might admit to it if his feet were held to the fire, was 30k, or half full.

Didn’t happen not even close, for an event that has been pimped for months, billed as the new signature event for the circuit, the longest miles wise in series history and featuring many of the best of the youngsters that are on the development ladder to NASCAR’s three top series’.

Sorry, I fail to see any valid excuses, not after 4 years of whimpering and whining over the last few years.

Technorati Tags: Rockingham Speedway, Joe Gibbs, Andy Hillenburg, Joey Logano, Motorsports, Sports, Auto racing, NASCAR, ARCA RE/MAX Series, Full Throttle

Remember way back last week at Talladega when the iconic “Big One” never happened?

In a strange misalignment of Alabama stars The Big One went MIA and apparently lost as drivers were more intent on a pathetic and fruitless attempt at catching Kyle Busch than playing 200mph bumpercars?

Well, The Big One was found, at Richmond on lap 229.

The red flag was unfurled stopping the race due to mass wreckage from a multi-car pile-up started when .J.J. Yeley tagged the wall (some say with Dave Blaney’s assistance) collecting David Gilliland, Matt Kenseth, Patrick Carpentier, Jimmie Johnson, Juan “So Much for 12th in Points” Montoya, Kurt “Say Good-by to ‘08 Chase” Busch, Johnny Sauter, Michael McDowell and Jeff Burton.

Upon surveying the damage on pit road Chad Knaus said of the #48, “We’ve got to cut a bunch of stuff off of it.” And cut he did as Johnson went sans hood, among other bits of sheet metal, to finish in 30th.

Richard Childress, owner of winner Clint Boyer’s Chevy, had good things to say about the car, it’s driver and the race itself during the after race presser: “I just think it’s been some great racing this year, and I think this new car that we are running today, if you want to call it Car of Tomorrow; we like to call ours the Impala, but I think that probably plays a little role in it.”

“It was just a great race tonight and we were able to capitalize. And just proud of the BB&T for team for what we did. Tonight Clint drove his butt off, and coming up the field, I’ve watched a lot of racing at this place and watching him be patient for the time he’s driven; and for the way he was able to handle the car and be put in a couple of positions, he’s just done a great job tonight, and I was really proud of him.”

And now for the million dollar question and answer that will be The Talk around water coolers and atop bar stools all week long:

Q. With all due respect, you’re going to be probably the most hated man in the Junior Nation starting tomorrow morning, even with an innocent mistake. What can you say to Junior’s fans to maybe prove that you really are not the villain in this whole thing?

KYLE BUSCH: Well, for some reason, they are awfully confused, because they were giving me the No. 1 sign the last ten laps of the race, and I was in second place still. So I don’t know whether that’s too many Dale Junior Budweisers or they are amped up or what.

For me, there’s nothing you can say, absolutely nothing. If I apologize up and down, even though it may or may not be my fault it would not make a difference. Dale got wrecked, he should have had a win tonight, quote, unquote. But I’ll say it again, it’s just unfortunate circumstances for him because he didn’t get a win, and for me because now I’ve got to put up with it.

More later…

Technorati Tags: Chad Knaus, Dave Blaney, Matt Kenseth, Jeff Burton, Kyle Busch, Jimmie Johnson, Clint Bowyer, Richmond International Raceway, Full Throttle

Well the expected happened, at least expected from this corner of the blogoracingsphere, Carl Edwards has signed what he calls a multi-year contact with Roush-Fenway Racing.

Jack in the Hat’s other unsigned driver Greg Biffle says he’s happy, wants to win and what the hell there’s no greener grass to be found and expects to resign with Jack.

That has been expected also, when you’re already driving for one of the top teams in the sport, a team that’s so closely aligned with Ford’s engineering and financial support that’s it’s rumored Jack has a Blue Oval for a bed headboard, why move?

If Biffle wants “greener” he’ll get it right where he’s at, a larger pile of green cash.

Now, please take a minute and enter Full Throttle’s Wayback Machine. It won’t hurt, much… I promise.

Not too far in the distant past the following words were uttered by various NASCAR Suits on the subject of the sanctioning bodies drug policy.

“Sometimes people have told us, ‘I don’t mind being tested. I’ll comply with your policy, but just the idea if you said you tested me this weekend it might imply there was some problem with me and I don’t have a problem. Happy to do it, happy to test, but we all know guilt by association.’ - Brian France.

“NASCAR’s policy is also supported by the various policies that the teams have in place that are required under the driver/owner agreements. No system is flawless, but we believe our zero tolerant policy that is in place has served the sport well.” - Kerry Tharp, NASCAR’s director of communication.

And on and on it went argumentum ad infinitum until every known Suit had his/her words quoted in suppport of the current policy.

The only missing personality was Big Bill France himself but only because they were too damn cheap to pay a psychic medium to contact him.

That was then. (The Wayback Machine didn’t hurt a bit did it? Never mind the buzzing in your ears - ed)

This in now, now it’s, “Can We all Just Fagetaboutit!”

“There is a small group looking at this issue [drug policy]. We need to enhance what we have,” said NASCAR vice president Jim Hunter.

“We don’t think there is any drug policy in sports today that is any stronger than ours. (ahem, BS - ed) “There is a sensitivity with us that when you test and you tell people you are testing, it gives people the perception that there’s a problem that may not be there. We don’t like that.”

“We’ve got to put away any doubt that there is anyone participating who is using a banned substance,” Hunter said.

“When our drivers say, ‘I’ve never been tested,’ that leaves drivers with a perception of a problem and leaves us with a perception of a problem.”

Do ya mean these three, three of your biggest stars that jerked all of ya by the short hairs and changed what NASCAR believed to be a perception of a problem into a full blown “not going away” REAL problem?

I getcha now, all it takes is the not so dull roar of the top stars of the sport and a much larger roar heard from members of NASCAR Nation to get your butts off the sedentary and at least look at the problem.

Well, at least it’s a start, it will be interesting to see where The Suits go with it.

Technorati Tags: Carl Edwards, Greg Biffle, Roush Fenway Racing, NASCAR, Brian France, Jack Roush, Full Throttle

The rest of us meaning F1 fans.

Jean Todt is being lined up to replace Max The Littlest Perv Mosley when the current President of the FIA either steps, or is forced, down.

Allegedly that is the overwhelming view in the Formula 1 paddock as the Perv’s self-imposed execution (hopefully!) at the “Extraordinary Meeting” in Paris is now less than five weeks away.

When he does relinquish his grip on the most powerful position within the sport, former Ferrari team chief Todt – one of the few high-profile figures within F1 to publicly back Mosley (read Todt’s slobbering ass kiss here) – is widely believed to be the man being groomed to take over. Both the BBC and The Times have reported that the Frenchman is “a lock” to assume the role.

God save our gracious Queen (and us poor F1 fans too)
Long live our noble Queen, (but nip the Frog Prince Todt in the bud)
God save the Queen: (and us poor F1 fans too, PLEASE!)
Send her victorious,
Happy and glorious, (but don’t be asshats and elect The Frog Prince)
Long to reign over us: (with more Ferrari conspiracies and Mosley-like inefficiency)
God save the Queen. (for the sake of all humanity us poor F1 fans too, PLEASE!)

Cross Posted @ F1 Rage

Technorati Tags: Max Mosley, Mosley Scandal, FIA, F1, Formula One, Full Throttle

Previously I had posted a few words on the Old School Racing Series that was to see the starters flag sometime this year. As a new series it has been universally applauded by many including myself, as an interesting way to get some of the past NASCAR stars out of the shadows and back unto a brighter stage.

A few days ago I noticed and commented on a post at One Bad Wheel (OBW) on the apparent demise of the series at least for this year.

As a side note, if you haven’t signed up to play Champs, Chumps and Sleepers at OBW you’re missing out on a free opportunity to look like a fool. Well, actually maybe that’s just me, but you get the idea. It’s not often you can play a game for free and win prizes doing it, so get over there.

Anyway on to the meat of this post. Old School Racing has announced a postponement of its inaugural season. According to the promoters they are looking forward to starting the series in spring 2009 vice this year and the delay “will allow a partnership to form that will make the OSR bigger and better for the drivers, crews and fans.”

Ok, so that’s the obligatory fluff issued by some PR type. Here’s the real meat behind the delay.

Apparently the placed their trust in a marketing agent that was contracted to promote the series. Last December series officials attended the Performance Racing Trade Show held in Orlando Fl. where it was believed OSR was to be promoted by the marketing agent.

Instead, and quoting from the OSR website, “…. instead of working out of the OSR booth, the marketing agent was in another booth representing another racing series. We came to find out that he had recently purchased that tour.

From August thru December, he was promoting his new series instead of OSR. All of the sponsorship figures he had been presenting to OSR was a lie, for his own series, or just blatantly fabricated. One of the potential title sponsors he was touting had never even received a call from the marketing agent. A big “lesson learned” here, for sure.”

Can you spell Shyster? (a term usually reserved for lawyers at FT but will make an exception this time - ed)

The big question I have is where the hell were the OSR officials for all those months between August when he was allegedly promoting OSR and late December when they discovered he was a crook?

That’s nearly 5 months this guy apparently did nothing he was contracted for while the OSR promoters did what? Nothing from the looks of it.

I’m far from a business genus, and even less so in promoting a new racing series but Geesh Marie, who the hell was watching the store? Shouldn’t someone, anyone, at OSR have been checking on this guy after spending the cash to employ him?

Maybe I missed something, or maybe OSR officials are the proverbial “babes-in-the-woods” and will learn from their mistakes.

One at least one would hope they did, if not this series won’t ever see the light of day.

And we all lose in that case

Technorati Tags: NASCAR, Old School Racing Series, Full Throttle

The list is getting longer for the future former head of the FIA. The Littlest Perv has lost another round in the legal system of the EU.

A judge in Paris said Tuesday it was not within his jurisdiction to ban an Internet video of The Littlest Perv with prostitutes, but he ordered the French recall of newspapers containing photos of the scene.

Judge Joel Boyer said he couldn’t ban access to website of the British tabloid the News of the World, which had carried a video with images of the scene, because the site is owned and based in Britain. Mosley’s lawyer, Philippe Ouakrat, had requested the site be restricted in France because the FIA, the governing body for motorsports that Mosley heads, is based in Paris.

“The mere fact that this site is accessible from France — like all others on the Web — is not enough to justify French jurisdiction,” Boyer wrote.

Cross posted @ F1 Rage

Technorati Tags: Max Mosley, Mosley Scandal, FIA, F1, Formula One, Full Throttle

Kyle “Desperado” Busch won, again. But you can read that in any one of a hundred sites and news services.

Instead I’ll touch on what results from NASCAR clinging onto the top 35 and impound rules. I would also suggest you read Steve “The Idiot” Wronkowicz’s (we luv ya Steve, really we do) piece as he covers the overall effects of both rules where I stick to Talladega and how it affected the results.

If you hadn’t noticed Joe Nemechek, Sterling Marlin and Jon Wood all had excellent qualifying runs. Joe actually was Front Row for a change and Marlin and Wood started 16^th and 12^th respectively.

The main reason, impound.

All three cars were massaged to the max and that helped them escape Bottom 36 Purgatory® and make the race, but at a price.

Nemechek and Marlin all qualified without fan belts for their alternators and power steering pumps. Marlin also used an undersized battery. They made stops on the 18^th lap to make repairs.

Wood also started without fan belts. His team had a checklist of changes that forced him into the garage area after just three laps. He returned eight laps down.

Because of impound after Saturday’s qualifying session teams that made changes once impounded were forced to start at the end of the starting grid.

The changes needed for Nemechek, Marlin and Wood, however, were so far from normal adjustments, NASCAR didn’t give those teams the option of starting last.

None of this is to say any of the three would have made the race without the impound, or had a better finish, save for Wood losing 8 laps, but it does illustrate the hoops some of the teams must go through just trying to get into an event each week.

IN OTHER NEWS YOU CAN LOSE: How about that Juan “Latino Piloto is Muy Bueno” Montoya! Stays with the leaders all day, finishes 2nd to The Desperado and moves into the top twelve and Chase contention.

Mears, Ragan and Kvapil all had excellent runs with all three beating or tying their best points paying finishes on the year.

At the other end of the spectrum is Smoke who in keeping with his history at the place just can’t catch a break at Talladagea, and Kuet Busch who is about one twenty-something finish away from writing off his chances for making the Chase.

Technorati Tags: Joe Nemechek, Talladega Superspeedway, Jon Wood, Sterling Marlin, Full Throttle

There must have been a few leftover rainbows over the state after the recent storms in Kansas.

And F1 veteran Scott Speed may have caught one on his way to his first-ever ARCA RE/MAX Series win in the Kansas Lottery $150 Grand Friday afternoon at Kansas Speedway.

Speed started on the outside pole but by lap 16 found himself down a lap down after being called in to repair a window net that had come unlatched. It wasn’t until catching a Lucky Mongrel during a lap 54 caution period he regained the lead lap.

“I don’t let things that I can’t control affect me while I’m driving,” said Speed. “Obviously, something like a window net I can’t control. I just got really aggressive after that happened so that we could be in a position to earn the Lucky Dog. Once we got that, I pushed real hard to make up a lot of positions.”

Steadily worked his way through the field he got his chance to overtake then leader rookie Jesse Smith on a late-race restart with six laps remaining, held off Roush Fenway Racing’s Ricky Stenhouse, Jr. to the checkers to claim his career-first victory in his fifth career series start.

Stenhouse, Smith Michael Annett and Robb Brent filled out the remainder of the top five.

Series points leader going into the event Justin Allgaier had his two-race win streak broken after a blown engine sent his Chevy to the garage after 83 laps.

The lone female in the field Gabi DiCarlo scored her career best finish by bring home the Great Clips Toyota ninth on the lead lap.

Technorati Tags: ARCA RE/MAX Series, Gabi DiCarlo, Scott Speed, Ricky Stenhouse Jr, Kansas Speedway, Full Throttle