Why Robbie Gordon Can’t Win

29th May 2005

Why Robbie Gordon Can’t Win

posted in IRL, NASCAR |

Robbie Gordon, current NASCAR back marker, and former Indy Car driver can’t win jack. Why?

Because he’s as dumb as a box of Vanilla Waffers!

What you say you take offense at such a slight on your favorite driver! Well tough, live with it. In fact those that should be pissed are all females and specificly Danica Patrick. Gordon knows why Patrick sits on the outside of row two for todays Indy 500. He also knows why he will never compete against her.

Robby Gordon says Danica Patrick has an unfair advantage in the Indianapolis 500 — she weighs only 100 pounds.

“I won’t race against her until the IRL does something to take that advantage away,” Gordon said.

“A guy my size is spotting her 105 pounds,” said Gordon, who is not driving in the 500 this season. He is in North Carolina this weekend for NASCAR’s Coca-Cola 600. “That’s the reason she’s so much faster.”

Too dumb X two = too stupid for words.

I suppose you can assume his remark was in jest and taken out of context by The Indy Star paper, but you know what they say about assuming anything.

I guess it hasn’t entered into this mental midgets mind that there is a minimum weight for Indy Cars. A weight that includes the driver. If any of you Robbie fans want to defend this idiot, go ahead, but you’ll be taking to a hand.

UPDATE: I stand corrected. As James points out The IRL does not consider the weight of the driver in its race specifications. The car has to weigh at least 1,525 pounds before the fuel and driver are added.

But Gordon is still stuuuupid! Fat boy Gordon may out weigh Patrick by a 100 pounds of Cheetos but I don’t remember any complaints voiced on this subject when Mario Andretti was still an active driver. Mario couldn’t have weighted 150 soaking wet and carrying a 10 pound pan of lasagna under his arm.

UPDATE !!: Kevin adds this:

For a guy who led NASCAR in crashes last year, including a retaliatory crash which accidentally eliminated two contenders for the Nextel Cup from qualifying, weight seems to be the least of his concerns. Maturity is where Gordon is carrying less of a load than his competition. His rep is so bad some of his sponsors have clauses in their agreements to protect the companies from being embarrassed by Gordon.

And this from El Capitain: “I think Gordon’s just scared of getting beat by a girl.

Hey, Robbo… Want to lose 100 lbs? Try removing your humongous head from your tight arse and let some of that backed up sludge out!”

This entry was posted on Sunday, May 29th, 2005 at 11:22 am and is filed under IRL, NASCAR. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

1 On May 30th, 2005, Don said:#

That’s so Funny, and Glad I’m not the only

one that thinks Robbie is a Crybaby

posted on May 30th, 2005 at 4:52 am

2 On May 30th, 2005, Marc said:#

Robbie has been crying for so long hardly anyone pays attention to him. And that goes a long way understandng why he utters non sense like this.

posted on May 30th, 2005 at 6:10 am

3 On May 30th, 2005, George said:#

In addition to the pure weight disadvantage it’s also a center of gravity issue. With Robby’s man-breasts larger than Danica’s, his car woud have a higher CG and thus have a handling disadvantage as well.
We should all be gratfull for guys like Robby who provide such entertainment opportunities! What a knuckle head!!

posted on May 30th, 2005 at 8:04 pm

4 On May 31st, 2005, Marc said:#

George you’re much smarter than I.

Never considered the CG issue. Any chance of you becoming a crew chief?

posted on May 31st, 2005 at 4:49 am

5 On June 2nd, 2005, Michael Young said:#

You made me peeeee my pants! This is the funniest board I have ever read! I never, ever post to these boards, but this group is hilarious! CG! LOL!

posted on June 2nd, 2005 at 1:29 pm

6 On June 3rd, 2005, Marc said:#

Michael: why not post more often?

Everyone is welcome as long as my comment policy is followed.

posted on June 3rd, 2005 at 5:42 am

7 On June 23rd, 2005, Dana said:#

You know, there are some sports where people watch their weight fiercely, like wrestling, horse racing, etc. If Robbie feels at such a disadvantage, he might cut back on the ground beef and brewskies a bit. Remember the old country song “See the big man cry, mama….he’s so fat his car will break!” I just wonder what percent of bodyfat Robbie has, and how much of that is between his ears!?

posted on June 23rd, 2005 at 2:48 am

8 On August 25th, 2005, NASCAR FORUMS said:#

Robby Gordon accuses female indy driver of unfair advantage

No this is funny. Robby Gordon complain because this girl only weighs 100lbs! This is so stupid. I knew there was something fishy with that guy. I can\’t wait to see what happens when Robby comes accross a female nascar driver!!!

posted on August 25th, 2005 at 5:33 am

9 On August 25th, 2005, Marc said:#

There’s “something fishy” with your response.

Robbie wouldn’t have anything to say if he competed against a female driver in NASCAR. That series takes into account the weight of the driver, at present IRL doesn’t. (as pointed out in my post if you would have actually read it)

posted on August 25th, 2005 at 6:09 am

10 On April 25th, 2006, Anonymous said:#

You know Tony Stewart ran an Indy race and he never complained about someone weighing less that he does. Actually he just shut his mouth and raced!

posted on April 25th, 2006 at 3:30 am

11 On July 13th, 2006, Jonathan said:#

Yeah but Tony Stewart sucks

posted on July 13th, 2006 at 11:07 pm

12 On July 13th, 2006, Marc said:#

That’s just stuningly brilliant Jonathan, or not!

You didn’t strain any grey matter conjouring up such a retort did you?

posted on July 13th, 2006 at 11:22 pm

13 On July 14th, 2006, Jonathan said:#

No, as a matter of fact I did not. The truth doesn’t have to be integrated into the conversation in an intelligent manner because it’s simply the truth.

posted on July 14th, 2006 at 2:57 am

14 On July 14th, 2006, Marc said:#

Thanks for making my point.

Dispite your attempt at “proof” your opinion is not proof of anything except some ingrained bias on your part.

Of course I’d be more than happy if you did provide proof of what you have claimed but in the meantime I think I’ll continue my normal respiration rate.

posted on July 14th, 2006 at 8:43 am

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